Q: What to do with all those old t-shirts?

Hey Hipster:

Love your column so I can keep up on what’s hip as a junior-senior! I noted with interest your resolution to get rid of your old concert T-shirts. NO! NO! Don’t do it! You could have a really cool “Memory” quilt made making panels of the front or back of the T-shirts and you would have a forever memory of your concerts! And, ironically, I just saw an ad in a magazine for a company that will make the quilt for you called “T-shirt Quilts.” Their website is CampusQuilt.com, and their phone number is 1-800-880-8534. You will so regret it if you toss them!

— Barbara

Sometimes, I wonder if our ancestors way back in the ’50s and ’60s (back when they invented snail mail, I think) regarded every incoming letter as potential spam. Here I am, all, “Hey, why is this robot trying to sell me shirt quilts?” when old-timey me would have been, like, “Oh, what a delightful offer! I’ll have to turn my super-sweet collection of Glenn Miller and Glenn Gould shirts (plus that one Glenn Danzig shirt I got by accident) into an even super-er sweeter quilt!”

But, nay. Barbara’s recommendation came from the heart, without a shred of evidence that she’s in the employ of the sinister Campus Quilt empire — which, you inquiring minds may want to know, is based in faraway Louisville, Kentucky.

Of course, my hipster penchant for handicrafts covers all manner of seamstering (a word I am enormously glad I got to use today, so thanks for that), and I could obvi totes quilt shirts like a boss if I wanted to. But your letter inspires me to retain my substantial collection of shirts with band logos that probably nobody has ever heard of. I shall hoard them till the end of time...or burn them in the unlikely event of their becoming too mainstream!