Revisiting the flat earth concept

• Dear Hipster:
• Is the Earth really flat like B.o.B. says?
• — Donnie G., Cardiff

• Dear Hipster:
• How is it even possible to believe in a Flat Earth?
• — Evelyn

• Dear Hipster:
• Would it be hipster or not hipster to believe that the Earth is flat?
• — Dave, Eastlake

Five hundred years ago, people died in a variety of colorful, horrifying ways (e.g., writhing in agony as scurvy covered their bodies with suppurating ulcers) trying to prove that the world could be circumnavigated, it’s sphericity incontrovertibly proven by extension. Nowadays, our collective grasp of physics and technology has advanced so far that we can discern Earth’s roundness by gazing upon the planet through gigantic cameras that hurtle in orbit at 17,000 miles per hour.

How do celebrities — arguably the most influential figures in the world — use a powerful tool of instantaneous global communication?

By paying assistants to compose meaningless, attention-seeking tweets. Naturalement.

Should you ever wonder why we hipsters reject the shallow mores of mainstream culture in favor of greater social consciousness, look no further than the tweets of a borderline rapper.