Coolest. Day. Ever.

Dear Hipster:

Is there a National Hipster Day or anything like that?

— David

My sources say, “no.”

Poor-taste Facebook group “National Punch a Hipster Day” latched on to a wee bit of interwebs fame back in 2011. As far as I know, somebody killed the group, but its spirit lives on. Remembrances linger in the graveyard of forgotten blogs, its only tombstone an illustration of a cartoony hipster getting socked in the mouth as his dollar-store shades and unlit cigarette fly free.

Daysoftheyear.com wants March 9, 2015, to be “Get Over It Day.” Remove that needless “Get” and you’d have a perfect Hipster Day.

I suppose April Fools’ Day would be a “natural” Hipsters’ Day, with the not being serious. Better still, December 28th, aka “St. Innocents’ Day” in Mexico and the rest of the Hispanic-Catholic world. Dutiful celebrants pay homage to the biblical infanticide of Herod the Great...by playing pranks on each other! Irreverent irony at its most religious, which is a heck of a lot gentler than the disturbing (and vaguely homerotic) commemorative paintings some Dutch Masters felt compelled to draft in honor of Christianity’s most notorious child slaughter.

There’s a case for January 7th for a San Diego city observance of Hipster Day.

Why? Because in 1913 the temperature in town dropped to 25 degrees Fahrenheit.

Officially speaking: Coolest. Day. Ever.

If you want to see National Hipster Day come to fruition, then you might find good company in Adrienne Sioux Koopersmith, the wonderfully eccentric Chicagoan “eventologist” who has dreamed up and copyrighted hundreds of “holidates” (her word for created holidays) since the 1990s. For 50 bones, she’ll put at least ten hours of work into promoting National Hipster Day on whatever date you see fit.