Be a better person, or like, whatever

Dear Hipster:

My sister and I went to Luigi’s Pizza on a recent Friday night. And as you can imagine, the place was packed with hipsters galore and their hipster tots in-tow. We ordered, ate, bused our tray, and left. Later that evening, as my sister was boarding the bus, she realized her wallet was missing. The last place she remembers having it was at the packed pizzeria. Her mind raced: Could the wallet still be there? The place was packed. Could the hipsters be trusted with an unaccompanied wallet full of cash? Fear not, the wallet was found and happily returned to her; cash and all. Are all hipsters trustworthy folk?

— Grateful in Golden Hill

Truth be told, hipsters aren’t known for unscrupulousness, nor are they known for great stores of personal honesty. It’s not a defining facet of their character, one way or the other. If there were some prevailing stereotype about the trustworthiness of hipsterkind, I’d have something to support or debunk.

In my experience, hipsters tend to be the kind of people who list “try to be a better person” among their personal goals. That kind of attitude lends itself to the occasional bit of do-goodery. On the flip side, it also contributes to the general sense of smugness that some people perceive lurking around their hipster friends. Incidentally, one Urban Dictionary user suggests a smug as a collective noun for a group of hipsters, which I kind of like.

A smug of hipsters, like a murder of crows, has a certain ring to it. Haters could use it condescendingly, and hipsters could embrace it ironically!

I think your personal experience indicates that, for the most part, if you lose your wallet, you want a hipster to find it.