Biologic, not stylistic?

Dear Hipster:

Is “hipster family” a contradictory term? If not, what are the criteria for said title?

— Maddie, Golden Hill

Well, @HipsterFamily tweeted some random Tagalog in 2013, then fell silent after a string of “Good Morning” tweets, but #HipsterFamily still comes up once or twice a month, so I guess you could call that a raging success trend...or not.

As I said of hipster weddings, hipsters of a certain age hold an unexpected reverence for monogamy and the nuclear family. One could argue that procreation, thus assuring the continuation of the human species, is the most mainstream activity outside of, say breathing and eating, but just because something’s necessary for continued life on Earth doesn’t mean it can’t be cool. Look at how hipsters treat eating as a fashion statement. Even after science streamlines sexual reproduction à la Brave New World (separating the sexy bits from the reproducty bits), hipsters will probably make vintage style analog babies à la Gattaca (without the creepy eugenics and with considerably less Ethan Hawke).

The most significant criterion for hipster families isn’t stylistic, it’s biological. As a group, hipsters wait till they’re older to have kids.

Don’t believe me? Consult any number of studies finding upward trends in the age of new parents among white, middle-class, educated professionals living in urban centers, or, as some like to call them, “grown-up hipsters.”