The Boys in Biden’s Band

Last week, the Biden Administration announced that it would be sending 1500 troops to the United States’ southern border, in anticipation of a migrant surge following the expiration of Title 42, which allowed for the quick expulsion of certain border crossers. The move was met with criticism from Democrats who had supported Biden’s declarations that his administration would take a more welcoming approach to immigration than that of Donald Trump. “Deploying military personnel only signals that migrants are a threat that require our nation’s troops to contain,” said New Jersey’s Senator Bob Menendez. “Nothing could be further from the truth.” President Biden was quick to agree. “Seems like there’s a MAGA gremlin in the system,” he said, addressing the backlash at a press conference yesterday. “Otherwise, you folks would know that the troops I’m sending are military bands, whose entire purpose will be to play welcoming mariachi music to weary migrants arriving at their destination. It’s our way of letting them know that while they may have had to leave home, home hasn’t left them. God bless America, and God bless those who are about to join the already record-breaking number of people who have crossed since I took office!”