Gruesome Newsom

She’s standing on the street corner at Isabella and Orange in downtown Coronado. It’s a sunny morning. Helen Locker’s dressed in red, white, and blue — flag cap, flag top, red sweater, and she’s holding a clip board.

“Gruesome Newsom’s got to go!” she says, to no-one in particular.

“I finally decided I had to do something, rather than just sitting on the sidelines and complaining,” she tells me. “This guy was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, in San Francisco. Pelosi’s relative,” she says to Joe, a citizen who has stopped to sign.

“He doesn’t know how small businesses are suffering. He’s killing this state!” Locker says. “I just couldn’t take it any more. I’ve been standing round grinding my teeth as Gruesome Newsom closed down, opened up, closed down again. Does he realize what that does to small businesses? The problem is, he keeps kicking us out of work, and not providing us with a livable wage.”

Meanwhile, Joe the petition-signer nods. He’s reading the small print. It seems to talk about everything but the covid restrictions.

“TO THE HONORABLE GAVIN NEWSOM...” it says in caps, “we intend to seek your recall and removal from office of Governor. The grounds for this recall are as Follows...Laws he endorsed favor Foreign Nationals...people in this state suffer the highest taxes in the nation...and the lowest quality of life as a result...he overruled the will of the people regarding the death penalty...prop 13... water-rationing... restricting parental rights... Having no other recourse, we the people...”

But there’s also Newsom’s response, his right by law. “WARNING: THIS UNWARRANTED RECALL EFFORT WILL COST CALIFORNIA TAXPAYERS 81 MILLION DOLLARS!.. It is being pushed by political extremists supporting President Trump’s hateful attacks on California...”

The Governor goes on to highlight five issues he’s addressing, from homelessness to wildfires. “Our budget is balanced, our economy and employment are historically strong.”

No specific mention in either argument about pandemic.

So is this challenge serious for Newsom? I call my politically savvy friend, “James.” (“No real names!” He screams down the line.) “Yes,” he finally says, “it does have a shot of getting on the ballot, there’s big money backing it, but no, I don’t think he will be recalled. He’s just too popular. I think the guy is an ass, but guess what? I absolutely still support him. He’s much, much better than a Republican-type phony.”

Election over. Dissection not.

“Hi, Helen,” says a passer-by hauling along a mutt. “What are you doing?”

“Getting rid of Newsom. Nice dog!”

Actually, the main reason I’m hanging around is the sun. It’s warming my back up beautifully. I’ve been chilled all morning.

I try to think of another question to ask.