From the archives

San Diegans on love, marriage, and everything in between

Men imagine themselves as women, lovebirds, internet romance, Mom fights for her son

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The Garbers. “The first night we met, we went for a walk down Seal Beach pier, and when he held my hand, I felt the sparks then.”
Chris: "We pretty much swapped poems all the time we were on the computer together."

  • Generations

  • York Mitchell is my father. The word carries Victorian associations of formality and patriarchy; "Father" is an ancient oak tree offering shelter against an uncertain world. For me, "mother" is a word with more active associations. It is the wind passing among the oak's deciduous leaves, a river of green air that combs life through that tree's stolid presence. A father is only a little less special than mom. (Our first word, after all, is usually a cry meant for her.) Peggy.Mitchell is my mother. My brothers and I have always called her "Murr," a child's slurring of "mother" that is pronounced like "purr."
  • By Jangchup Phelgyal, Feb. 15, 2001
Peggy and York Mitchell, with sons York Jr. and Duke, c. 1940. My father had the meaty good looks that are no longer in fashion, the kind that helped make young Ernest Hemingway famous and Clark Gable a matinee idol.

  • If I'd Been Born a Woman

  • “Don’t be such a girl.” I hear the boys taunt each other at the playground near my house. “Don’t be such a girl.” Nothing could be worse. Most men agree. Sitting on the couch with the remote in one hand and a bag of chips in the other, my husband stares at some effeminate reporter. “Give me a break,” my husband sneers. “He’s such a girl.”
  • By Leslie Ryland, May 16, 2002
Jay Borden: “I can’t imagine what it would be like to give birth to a child." (Sandy Huffaker, Jr.)

  • Sealed with a Kiss

  • “I was visiting a friend in Florida,” says Cameron. “It was supposed to be for ten days but ended up being for ten months. I met her the second day I was there. We started out as friends and became best friends over time, and it progressed to where we just knew we were supposed to get married.
  • By Robert Kumpel, Feb. 13, 2003
David and Traci Lawson. "We started dating secretly, without letting anyone know, as we weren’t sure if it was acceptable or not."

  • They Think They’re in Love

  • Abbie and Diana are 17-year-olds who say they are seniors at University of San Diego High School. (I later learn that this school closed several years ago.) The two are walking around Mission Valley Mall for an afternoon of shopping. They both hold multiple brand-name shopping bags in one hand and closed cell phones in the othe“A kiss is not that big of a deal,” Abbie says, between chews of gum.
  • By Geoff Bouvier, Sept. 3, 2008
"I'm young. I don't even know what love is."
Shortly after BB suggests that we restage his birth, I put the idea to my family. (Larry Ashton)

  • A Mom Fights for Her Son

  • I’m in the middle of an internal debate over whether or not to greet one of the mothers I recognize from BB’s school when BB runs over to me from the Wolfgang Puck display and says, “Mom, I want to pretend I’m being born again.”
  • “What?”
  • By Debra Ginsberg, July 26, 2001
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