St. Paul’s Above It All

“It’s true that Greystar’s proposed project is 50 feet taller than anything else along the edge of the Park,” said St. Paul’s Dean, the Most Extremely Very Reverend and Remunerated Cash Munny, “and that its shadow will cover the earth in the afternoons like the midday darkness that descended when Christ died on the cross. But there will be, in the bowels - that is, the lower parts of the building - 18 low-income apartments! A full two more than the 16 we’re demolishing to make way for the tower! And we’ll be able to host LGBTQ events in the courtyard, which will help atone for our namesake’s hateful line in Corinthians about how ‘neither the sexually immoral nor idolators nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men, etc. will inherit the kingdom of God.’ Anyway, we answer to a higher authority than some planning commission, so we’re going ahead with it.”