Seaus Settle, Sort Of

Last week, the family of Chargers linebacking legend Junior Seau reached a confidential settlement with the National Football League over their wrongful death lawsuit that claimed Seau’s 2012 suicide was the result of chronic traumatic encephalopathy brought on by repeated concussions sustained while playing. However, noted Seau family attorney Stu Stress, the family still has a case pending against helmet maker Riddell, Inc. On top of that, they are suing all the television networks that broadcast NFL games in which Seau played (many of them for the Chargers), as well as all the “bloodthirsty sadists” who watched those games, “profiting from and delighting in the suffering of others for their own benefit and amusement.” Legal scholars estimate that in light of this, some 50 million Americans will be receiving subpoenas in the coming months.