Nonmainstream places to go in August heat

Dear Hipster: I know for a fact it’s gonna be hot as balls here in August. I can’t say why. I just have a feeling. What are your top three getaways for scorching-hot hell month, aka August, so as to be free of the humility of having to run the air conditioner and hide from the sun like a Zonie? — Deano

While I agree it takes a certain degree of humility to accept the reality of human frailty as the mercury soars toward triple-digits, perhaps you meant another thing entirely. As far as concerns, the wise hipster has many options to escape in August.

Consider:

Palm Springs. What? Isn’t Palm Springs in summer like stepping onto the surface of the sun? The vacationing hipster says, “I know, right?” Hipsters understand the allure of the off-season vacation destination, the irony in fleeing the hot for the hotter. There’s no shame in languidly transitioning between the pool and the air-conditioning when you’re on vacation in the desert and the air is straight up trying to kill you. Plus, it’s hella cheap in summer!

Canada! Despite quadrennial threats to move there, few Americans commit to visiting our gentle northern neighbor. I blame them not, for the Canadian winter is notoriously ruthless and theoretically endless. Fortunately, it almost never snows in August, so summer is the perfect time for hipster vacationers to make at least partially good on that defection vow. You can AirBnB in major Canadian cities for under 80 bucks a night, making the trip more affordable than plenty of stateside destinations once you get yourself there.

Finally, I feel like any summer isn’t complete without indulging in the great American hipster tradition, the road trip! This year, selfie on the shores of the Great Lakes (any of them, but preferably not Lake Michigan because it’s too mainstream) is the Insta memory of the year, 10/10 hipsters agree!