What does it profit a man if he should gain a million clicks but lose his soul?

The good readers at RottenTomatoes.com are once again accusing me of whoring for clicks by giving only one star to a highly anticipated blockbuster. It’s happened a number of times before, most notably with Star Wars: The Force Awakens, but this time it’s Captain America: Civil War. (It’s a pity, because up to now, the Cap films have been my favorite of the Marvel offerings.)

The reasoning seems to be that if most critics like a thing and one critic does not, then that one critic has decided to cash in his last shreds of decency and integrity (not that he had that many to begin with; I mean, come on, he’s a movie critic) and post a bunch of lies attached to a crappy rating in the hopes of waking the Internet Outrage Machine and profiting from the attention. Because in the new journalism, clicks are the only currency that matters. (Try this one weird trick to increase your readership and lose belly fat!)

The trouble with this accusation is there’s no real way to refute it, seeing as how it skips all visible evidence (that is, the actual review, or any defense I might make of it) and goes for the heart of a man. You know, the thing that only God and angry Internet commenters can judge. But even if it’s futile, please let me say for the record that while I like the idea of people reading my reviews, the prospect of being dishonest (or even simply negative) for the sake of clicks is repugnant to me. I didn’t care much for the film, is all.

I did, however, care for Tale of Tales. So much grisly, so much glory, wretchedness and rapture, squirms and squeals. And The Man Who Knew Infinity won me over despite the on-point talk of revelation and proof. (We need to get Jeremy Irons to read things out loud into a microphone as much as possible before he’s gone.) Sort of the way Dough won Scott over despite its shamelessness. (Pot and challah — two great tastes that taste great together!) But he didn’t love Rio, I Love You, despite the fact that it’s, you know, Rio.

In other news, I’m tickled to see that April and the Extraordinary World is getting another run on the big screen — this time at the Digital Gym. It’s more thinky than feely, but kids of all ages should enjoy it anyway. And Scott brings news of Ralph DeLauro’s return: the former host of the San Diego Library’s Film Forum is wandering the realm and conducting film discussions in all manner of places. Hitchcock! And...fade to black until next week.