Melissa McCarthy does Israel

Variety recently reported that Melissa McCarthy will star as celebrity-biographer-turned-literary-forger Lee Israel in Fox Searchlight’s upcoming biopic, Can You Ever Forgive Me? Israel had a knack for cranking out facsimile correspondences — numbering over 400 — by the lettered likes of Noël Coward, Dorothy Parker, and Lillian Hellman quicker than notorious art forger Elmyr de Hory could charcoal a Fake (with a capital “F”) Picasso sketch.

Let’s see if we have this straight. When a Caucasian applies burnt cork to impersonate an African-American it’s labeled racist, and rightfully so. Ditto any white guy who tapes back his eyes and dons a set of buck teeth to play Charlie Chan. So why is it considered socially acceptable for a major gentile like Melissa McCarthy to pass for a Jew?

Do you realize that of the 20 actors nominated in last year’s Oscar® derby only one, Jennifer Jason Leigh, was Jewish? (Bryan Cranston, an Octajew, ran a far second.) This lack of diversity is an outrage! With no disrespect meant to friends and colleagues known to down a Porterhouse steak with a glass of Strawberry Quick, Melissa McCarthy is robbing a Jew of her potential golden door stop.

All of the Max Factor nose-enhancement and CG-slenderizing at Hollywood’s avail isn’t going to make a bit of difference. Uncircumcised though she may be, were they casting based strictly on physical parallels (with an added eye towards talent, bitterness, etc.), comedian Lisa Lampanelli would have been the way to go. As a point of distinction, if not verisimilitude, why not assign Jada Pinkett Smith the supporting role — sure to earn an Oscar® nom — of vanilla gossip columnist (and subject of Israel biography) Dorothy Killgallen?

This is a difficult but important conversation to bring up. People only treat us the way we allow them to. It’s time for big changes. As a society, we must come together and Cheryl… I mean, share all boons. I sack any notion of throwing my support behind this travesty. Yidlach unite: we must stand in our power and boycott this movie and, if need be, next year’s Academy Awards giveaway.

In closing, may I add that whether you are black, white, Jewish, or otherwise, may we all find great comfort knowing that sheyne meydl Marielle Heller (The Diary of a Teenage Girl), not Ben “Treyf” Falcone (Tammy, The Boss), will direct.