Girly behind the wheel

Dear Hipster:

I’m 27, and I’ve finally settled into a career where I make enough money to think about buying a new (or slightly used) car. I want something practical but still “girly,” if you know what I mean, and not a total mom car or anything.

— Lena

We hipsters prefer to travel via fixed-gear bicycle, though we accept vintage English three-speeds, especially for girls. A properly structured hipster lifestyle doesn’t include commuting or even rising before nine or ten in the morning, so cars don’t offer convenience to the average hipster. Plus, it’s only five blocks to the bar, where there’s plenty of cheap beer and local music to not dance to, so what’s the point in driving? If you must have a car, then I should hope you can get something not uncool.

“Girly” cars, like the Mini Cooper, the Mazda Miata, or perhaps even the Volkswagen Beetle may be chic, but these cars appeal to a Paris Hilton–esque sense of contemporary materialism at odds with thrifty hipster ethos. If practicality is a big concern, you might consider a mid-sized SUV like a Ford Explorer or a Jeep Grand Cherokee. While there’s plenty of room to put all your stuff, you get closer to “mom car” territory, and you risk people assuming you live in the suburbs and don’t know how to parallel park.

Many people don’t know that a number of hipsters appreciate motorsports. They represent non-mainstream sports, and the equipment aspect of car and motorcycle racing provides opportunities to accumulate esoteric knowledge of vintage stuff, often European. This benefits you because it makes 3-series BMWs a viable option. Knowing hipsters can (and will) refer to them by chassis model, thus inferring familiarity with the Bavarian Motor Works’ racing pedigree. If you go this route, be prepared to learn the difference between E30, E36, and E46.

But, I think the best option for you is going to be a hatchback. A Honda Civic will do nicely (except for the shades of Fast and Furious-ness), but a Volkswagen Golf would be better. Hatchbacks temper practicality with sportiness (a Golf GTI or R is a seriously capable vehicle) and send the message that you’re concerned with adventurous pursuits, perhaps even outdoors, but that you’re not a hippie. And you can still be “girly” behind the wheel.