Contribute your nonconformity

Dear Hipster:

I think I could do your job better than you do, because I am more hipster than you. Can I have it?

— Jeff

If you are such a hipster, Jeff, surely you should pursue employment in some other sector. Your mind must be brimming over with ideas for a small-business venture. Perhaps a boutique resale venue for vintage home goods? San Diego is desperately in need of a store that sells hard-to-find Chuck Taylors, and maybe you can be the man to fill that void? Anybody can open up an art gallery, but you could be the one to open up a gallery that deals exclusively in art that has been rejected by a minimum number of galleries (with framed rejection letters to prove the fact, of course). Remember, you want to contribute to the local economy (both cultural and monetary) without having to conform to dress codes and a rigorous 9–5 schedule.

And be careful with labeling yourself as “hipster,” Jeff. Any self-respecting hipster resents being called same, seeing it as an insult from uncool people who want to cut him down.