Chill out, man

Dear Hipster:

I am nearly dying from the heat of late. Your hipster mind hold any creative ideas for staying cool?

— Jenn

Seriously, the best thing I can think of is to paint your roof white, but you probably don’t own your house. I like ice cream a lot. The library usually has icy-cold air conditioning, as do myriad local small businesses that you could be patronizing in your spare time.

But, you want to know my real secret, Cap?

I’m a hipster. I’m always cool.