Heed old uncle Polonius

Dear Hipster:

I don’t know why I’m writing you about this, but maybe you can advise. I’ve been dating the same guy for about two weeks, give or take. I like him a lot, but I have a sticky situation on my hands. He borrowed my car to go visit his family. He was supposed to return it to me the same day, but he failed. When he brought my car home the next day, he told me he got caught up with some friends and that he didn’t have time to call me or anything. He just dropped the car off, admittedly no worse for wear, and then bolted because he was late for work. Now, I don’t know how to confront him about it. My friends all say to just dump him, but I like him and I incline towards forgiveness! There has to be a subtler way.

— Jenn

You obviously didn’t listen to old uncle Polonius, who followed up his friendly admonition on the respective horrors of borrowing and lending alike (the losing of the self and friend, dulling the edge of husbandry, blah blah et cetera) with the more promising (and useful) missive, “To thine own self be true.” I take that to mean your wishes and sense of self respect subordinate any complications over things. Whether you opt for the old “lock the door and smash his face with a frozen fish until he gets the point” style of Colm Meaney’s character in Layer Cake; or the polar opposite “wordless eyebrow raise while he digs a shallow grave in the dusty soil of poor excuses” maneuver mastered by Silent Bob; just show some self-confidence by making the clear distinction between what is okay with you and what isn’t. If he can’t respect that, he probably wears drop-crotch pants (i.e., you can do better).