UConn inexplicably forced to return to Connecticut after vanquishing San Diego State

“I don’t get it,” says guard Trenton Newton, who led the University of Connecticut Huskies to victory over the San Diego State Aztecs in the 2023 NCAA Men’s Basketball Championship on April 3. “We beat our opponent. We came, we saw, we conquered. And now we’re just supposed to go back to Hartford? And the Aztecs get to go back to paradise? Make that make sense. Did Alexander the Great just pull back to Alexandria after taking Egypt? They won’t pay us to play; you’d think they’d at least let us switch campuses and hit the beach.”