Casinos defend decision to re-open despite governor’s concerns

Ad depicting line of eager patrons outside of Viejas on re-opening day. “Life is like a casino,” observes Viejas spokesman Ron Ponyup. “Most people are suckers, happy to be governed by chance. A few pay enough attention to learn how things work, and they may do all right for a while. But eventually, the house wins — always. Everyone dies. May as well have some fun trying to beat the odds before the inevitable!”