USS Bonhomme Richard to be repurposed as dive-in museum of recent Naval history

“People love visiting the Midway Museum, and why not?” asks Navy spokeswab James Portside. “It rightly celebrates our Navy’s great achievements. But as the recent burning of the Bonhomme Richard makes clear, our recent past has been less than admiral-ble, ha ha. Deadly collisions between ships in 2017. The whole Spice drug epidemic. Overenthusiastic SEALs. The Fat Leonard bribery scandal. The fact that you’re more likely to be sexually assaulted at a Navy installation than anywhere else in the military. Clearly, we’re at a bit of a low point in our storied history. Which is why we thought it appropriate to put the Bonhomme Richard at a low point of its own, and set up an underwater museum where intrepid explorers can learn more about how things went so very very wrong. We’ll have educational installations, exciting interactive exhibits, and probably sharks. Come on down!”