Great White no match for brown tide

On July 14, a dead juvenile Great White shark washed ashore on the beach in Carlsbad. Locals who had been growing increasingly wary of shark attacks in the warming waters off of San Diego were quick to rejoice, dancing around the carcass with shouts of “Apex this!” and “Bite me!” And while Sea World researcher James Whale said that the cause of death wasn’t certain yet, he also stressed that what mattered was that “humanity is back on top. No more worrying that something is going to come along and eat us when our guard is down. We may have had to pollute the entire coastline with millions upon millions of gallons of sewage. We may have had to dump countless tons of plastic into the sea. And we may have had to cook the atmosphere to the point where everything is finding it that much harder to just stay alive. But at the end of the day, no matter how bad things get, we can still look at this nasty little fellow and know that we’re beating the sharks. We’re number one, baby.”