You wouldn't have imagined these Reader stories

Tic Tac Dough contestant, concert ticket scam, Hare Krishnas, how pound kills Fido, writing porn, fixing knees

I could run into Third Avenue, pull off the sari, and scream, Help, help! (David Covey)
Out of the 400 people tested, thirty had been chosen for the final screening.

Just grin and hit the buzzer

The group of twenty-nine had been narrowed down to eighteen, she said, and she thought the chances of our all getting on were now excellent. We had to do only one more thing: return to Los Angeles to play a mock version of the game. This time we’d have to carpool, she said, so the next Wednesday thirteen of us drove up in three cars (the others went separately). Once again, we had a drink together and then reassembled in the small second-floor office.

By Jeannette DeWyze, Oct. 19, 1978 Read full article

According to the Sports Arena, a total of 1587 tickets — the best in the house — were unavailable to the general public.

Front row center

Despite his role as the father of San Diego ticket-scalping agencies, Rys is an odd duck. He consistently expresses ambivalent feelings about scalping and he claims that he entered the business because he thought he could provide a service. “People did not want to wait in line to get the tickets. I thought it could be an honest enterprise.” Now he says his opinion has changed and he staunchly asserts that ticket-scalping agencies, his own included, should be outlawed. “Tickets are a dirty business,”

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By Jeannette DeWyze and Jim Mullin, May 31, 1979 Read full article

Goura with son Nita: “I decided everything else was a waste of time.” (David Covey)

Krishna, Krishna

One must merely turn one's back on the material world and fill one’s consciousness with Krishna. And so the devotees abstain from all intoxicants and meat; they sleep little and eat less. Most are celibate, and even married couples trying to conceive children have sex only once a month — on the woman’s most fertile day — but the occasion is almost overshadowed by the extra hours of chanting required.

By Jeannette DeWyze, July 12, 1979 Read full article

County shelters perform the despicable task of killing animals every day, (Robert Burroughs)

Down, Boy

“Steady, Yucon, it’s okay boy, calm down now Yucon.” Rich and DeGroot croon. The difficulty of the job registers on both their faces. DeGroot forces most of the barbiturate through the needle and into the vein. Yucon’s breathing slows, his body begins to go lax, and by the time the needle is withdrawn the dog’s eyes have rolled upward and the eyelids have closed.

By Neal Matthews, June 29, 1978 Read full article

I was editing a book a day now, each one no more than a blurry 40,000-word stream of obscenities. (Rob Colla)

How I learned to edit dirty books

Finding a manuscript that looked likely to be accepted, we read through it quickly to check for character development, plot, conflict, and resolution, and most important, the sex count. Keeping close tab on the number of pages spent in description of shin-to-shin contact, we divided that number by the total number of pages in the book to derive this magic quotient. Fifty percent was the sexual threshold.

By Janet Lane, June 22, 1978 Read full article

“It’s weekend and amateur athletes who get hurt the most." (Jim Coit)

What San Diegans do now when knee cartilage tears

The surgeon searches the inside of the knee for the torn piece of cartilage. Once he locates it he punches two more holes in the skin of the patient’s knee, one for the blunt-nosed “hook” and one for scissors. He maneuvers the hook under the torn cartilage and lifts it up. “Then,” says Bergen, “you reach the scissors in through the other hole, snip off the torn part, and extract that baby right through the skin.”

By Gordon Smith, April 2, 1981 Read full article

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