Stone Brewing releases two candidate-themed beers just in time for Election Day

Never mind Oktoberfest, here comes Novemberkrieg

Author

By Walter Mencken

Publish Date

Oct. 22, 2016

Engels: “Arrogant Bastard is the beer that put stone on the map. And Trump is the politician who might wipe America off the map. Putting him on the label for November was a no-brainer, which also seemed fitting. Plus, since we just laid off five percent of our workforce, Trump’s Apprentice catchphrase made a certain amount of sense.”

Engels: “After we learned that Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton told a Brazilian bank that her dream is 'a hemispheric common market, with open trade and open borders,' we started thinking about her long-established ties to foreign donors, her seeming lack of concern about American jobs disappearing into other countries, and her willingness to get mixed up in foreign conflicts that have no clear bearing on the protection of American freedoms. Plus, you know, Benghazi. We made this stout with roasted German hops, which we import through our newly opened Berlin brewery, and also a Japanese sake yeast, to give it that Asian influence. And then we aged it in old tequila barrels. Truly, an international beer for an international candidate.

"When I was President at POM Wonderful,” says newly installed Stone Brewing CEO Dominic Engels, “we got in trouble for claiming that POM Wonderful could help you cheat death by preventing heart disease and prostate cancer. So I’m not going to tell you that Stone beer can help fix America this November. But it can definitely ease the pain of watching the American experiment go through its great, wrenching death spasms.