SeaWorld’s Shamu Experience takes over vacated Qualcomm Stadium

“After the Chargers left, Qualcomm was a big empty bowl,” says SeaWorld head of killer whale breeding Bee S. DeWitt. “Meanwhile, our orcas weren’t being allowed to breed because of our insufficiently large storage facilities. This was a clear win-win. Best of all, we’ve managed to turn the negative PR around the breeding program into a positive. Whales are mammals, just like people. So we’re encouraging parents who’d just as soon not have ‘the talk’ with their kids — which is all parents, really — to bring ‘em down to the Q for our Breeding Exhibit. They’ll learn all they need to know about the facts of life, but because whales are so physically different from humans in appearance, there’s none of the usual, awkward ‘ick factor.’ They might even get to see Shamu get her groove on!"