Two hot cellists rock Symphony Hall

2Cellos, Tuesday night, April 12, was the greatest and worst concert I’ve ever been to. It tended toward the sublime and the ultra-cheese at the same time. 2Cellos is two young men from Croatia who play the cello. They were "classically trained."

To be more accurate, this was two beautiful men dry humping their electric cellos while covering Nirvana, U2, Coldplay, the Rolling Stones, and others. The lighting and video budget was significant for a Symphony Hall concert.

I vacillated between feelings of contempt, jealousy, admiration, desire, and exaltation. Yes, desire. I’ve got to admit my most constant thought was, “Damn, these guys are hot.”

Concerning the cellist in the white shirt — turns out his name is Stjepan Hauser — I want to live in his hair for the rest of my life. It was gorgeous.

Some in the audience, myself included, were uncertain of how to consume the concert. Were we supposed to rock out or sit quietly? Were we to be respectful or could we make comments to our neighbors during the music?

A drummer was added to the two cellists about halfway through the concert. With the drums in the mix there was a lot of sound coming at us. I suspect a looper pedal was in play as well. That’s a fair move. Looping pedals are becoming a standard element.

Good thing these two were specimens because their cello skills were serviceable at best. When they were covering pop hits they were fine, but when they played Bach it was a different story.

However, they did play Bach. They closed with his Air on the G String. While their pacing, phrasing, and tuning were suspect, I must admit it was more effective than when Dave Mustaine of Megadeth played it on the electric guitar with the San Diego Symphony.

The choice of Bach also brought a feeling of intimacy to the concert, which had been bombastic and terrifying for most of the occasion. Imagine, if you will, the Incredible Hulk on a rampage suddenly stopping, picking up a flower, and staring off into the distance with a single tear trickling down his cheek. “Hulk saaaaad.”

In spite of, or perhaps because of, my mixed emotions during this concert, I’ll never forget it. I’m still not sure if that is good or bad. I think it fair to say that a 2Cellos concert is neither good nor bad — it simply is.