Victoria's Secret Angel descends upon San Diego, dispenses wisdom

Stunning Victoria's Secret Angel Martha Hunt made an appearance at Fashion Valley Mall yesterday afternoon, following San Diego's selection via popular vote as America's Sexiest City. (Other winners included TV actress Ellie Kemper for Sexiest Sense of Humor and Celebspiration.com YouTuber Tess Christine for Sexiest Social Style.) But while the model is most famous for her runway walks in the clothing company's racy lingerie, on this occasion she appeared before the crowd dressed in a grey hoodie and pink sweatpants that totally concealed her flawless figure. A murmur ran through the roughly 400 fans who had gathered to receive a signed photo and perhaps score a selfie with Hunt.

"What is sexy?" asked Hunt, echoing the brand's current ad slogan. "I'll tell you what: sex is sexy. Specifically, orgasms. And pretty much every serious study on the subject has concluded that women are far more likely to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse when it occurs within the context of a long-term, committed relationship, the sort perhaps best exemplified by marriage. And really, when you think about it, it makes sense. Married couples have time to practice with each other, unlike, say, the hot guy you meet on the last night of a convention. Married couples can work on technique, and they can learn each others' preferences. But even more importantly, the bond of marriage provides a sense of genuine safety and security. That's crucial when you're talking about something that requires you to be totally exposed and vulnerable with another person. The French, who know all about sexiness, call orgasm le petit mort — the little death. You lose yourself for a moment. That's a lot easier to let happen when you feel safe, respected, accepted, and loved. So what is sexy? At the end of the day, it's being middle-aged and married. All this satin and lace and taut young flesh is just an effort to titillate you into opening your wallet. So as I look around at you less-than-beautiful people, I can say with confidence that yes, San Diego truly is America's sexiest city."

The crowd stood silent, seemingly unsure how to respond. One or two attendees began drifting away. Seeing them, Hunt smiled and gave a little laugh. "Naw, I'm just playin' ya," she continued. "What is sexy? This is sexy." And with that, whipped off her hoodie and stepped out of her sweats, revealing a black lace bra and panty set with matching garter belts and stockings. Relieved and gratified, the audience clapped and cheered.