The Godzilla El Niño: Which Godzilla?

California Monstereologists have cited the recent invasion of Southern California's beaches by thousands of monstrous pelagic crabs as a likely sign of an impending visit from Godzilla El Niño. "Time and again," says UCSD researcher Ishiro Honda, "the arrival of monsters from the sea has been the occasion for Godzilla El Niño to once again display his might while humanity looks on in helpless awe. This year should be no different. I only hope we will have the foresight to make adequate preparations."

As usual, the prospect inspires a mixture of hope and fear in coastal residents: there is no question that our drought-stricken region desperately needs help, but at the same time, Godzilla El Niño has been known to leave considerable destruction in its wake. But this time, there is a measure of curiosity added to the mix, as longtime fans ask themselves which version of the Godzilla will show up.

"The old ones were just more fun, you know?" explains Godzilla El Niño fangirl Liz Storm. "They were exciting to watch, and they didn't have all this baggage attached. You could enjoy them and forget about them. Now, it's like it has to be this big event. There's all these expectations and anticipation. How can it not be a letdown when it finally arrives? Plus, they've started making the environment a big part of the story, like there needs to be some kind of message or warning attached to give us a reason to care. Me, I liked it when it was just a crazy force of nature. But I'll probably still check it out, especially if it breaks records or something. The landscape's been pretty dry for a while now; I think everybody's ready for something new."