Faulconer's State of the City: "Look at this adorable pug!"

Last week, San Diego Chief Operating Mayor Kevin Faulconer gave his annual State of the City speech before the city's Board of Governors Council, along with its largest shareholder-developers. (In a now-traditional display of corporate generosity, the public was also permitted to listen in.) During the speech, he stressed the importance of enjoying the comical expression and oddly cute appearance of Sandy, a pug dog he declared "the new mascot of America's Finest City. If you threw a frozen waffle for him to fetch, that would be a Sandy Eggo!"

Faulconer said that enjoying the sight of Sandy was a hell of a lot more pleasant than thinking about the city's infrastructure. "Frankly, our sewers stink," he granted. "But hey, they're sewers! What did you expect?" Finally, he noted that if folks insisted on thinking about the city's infrastructure, they should start thinking about financing a new stadium for the Chargers. "It takes money to fix things, and you gotta spend money to make money," he reminded them. At that point, Sandy apparently began to suffer a bout of gastrointestinal distress, and Faulconer excused himself from the podium. "That was a cute dog," said Sunroad Developers CEO Monty Grubb. However, Chargers attorney Mark Fabiani argued that Sandy distracted needlessly from the pressing issues of the day, especially the new stadium. "Philip Rivers is just as cute as any pug," he argued. "And he's tougher, too. Think about that, San Diego."