Heading to Carson? Check out these hot spots

Here is your invitation to join the San Diego Chargers in their new home city, 19 square miles of paradise, Carson, California! Clap your hands and give a big shout-out to 91,000 sports-loving Carsonites who would like nothing better than to make your visit unforgettable.

From Qualcomm Stadium it’s an easy-peasy 113 traffic-free miles up the I-5/405 to Carson. You already waste two hours a day driving to work and back, so don’t bitch about a leisurely motor trip up the glorious California coast a lousy eight times a year.

Put the gun down.

Okay, all right, no driving, got it. But that need not be an impediment. The new Chargers home city is only 14 miles from LAX. Ring up Carson Helicopter Charters (CHC) and reserve your executive charter chopper for the season. Know this: CHC and its affiliates “can provide discreet private charters for political figures, lawmakers, corporate executives, and celebrities with your flight details kept completely confidential without drawing the paparazzi’s attention.”

This is so important when attending a Bolts game, because celebrities, movie stars, sports stars, tycoons, TV stars, podcast stars, roller-derby stars, video-game stars, and people who eat insects always attend Chargers games. Paparazzi overload is guaranteed.

After you thrill to a Chargers game, why not stay on for a magical evening out? Tripadvisor.com lists four things to do in Carson. Number one is to visit Home Depot Center. “A nice venue” writes a July 2015 reviewer. Sadly, Home Depot Center is no longer Home Depot Center, it is StubHub Center; the switch took place in June 2013. Yes, money changed hands, but in the excitement it’s no wonder our reviewer was confused.

Home Depot/StubHub not your cup of tea? Okay, here’s the number-two thing to do in Carson — Go Kart World!

Too sporty? Check number three, the International Printing Museum. “Enchanting,” writes the last reviewer (November 2013). “It is completely invisible, found by address only.”

After a long day at a museum you’ll be ready for some rowdy nightlife. No problem there — the number-four thing to do in Carson has no reviewers, so I’m assuming this listing was chosen by unanimous vote. Go ahead, Chargers fan, and get down with your bad self at the Suave Nightclub.

Over at tripbuzz.com, the Suave has been transformed, or, at least, shares the same address with SOL Venue. “Featuring live music, SOL Venue is a club and lounge that serves specialty mixed drinks. The stage has a dance area in front of it for its patrons. Touring bands and DJs often perform here.”

Don’t, by any means, overlook Blue Zoo Aquatics. “Aquarium enthusiasts from all over the country go to Blue Zoo Aquatics to furnish the homes of their fish. The store offers items such as cultured coral, colored mushrooms, sea slugs, and a variety of polyps.”

Go for the polyps, stay for the sea slugs! Count me in!

The Chargers or their paid mouthpiece or a blogger or the guy at the bar — somebody — said one-third of current Chargers season-ticket owners will drive to Carson. I have no doubt that’s true; therefore, the Box considers it a public duty to arm these loyalists with a Carson fun itinerary.

Follows is a list of hot spots known only to longtime residents, entertainment opportunities that drive-throughs and out-of-towners like you would never find.

IHOP, 21716 Avalon Boulevard, open 24 hours Friday and Saturday. Jack in the Box at 939 East Carson. McDonald’s, 21830 South Avalon Boulevard. Starbucks, 20810 South Avalon Boulevard. Subway, 880 East Carson. Chuck E Cheese’s, Denny’s, Jack in the Box 2, McDonald’s 2, Pizza Hut, Sizzler, and so much more.

If you are one of the many who have wondered all your life where California State University Dominguez Hills is, wonder no more. Carson is its home. Fun facts about CSDH include famous alumni, particularly, as noted on their web page, “Rodney Allen Rippy (BS, ’95), actor, best known as boy in Jack in the Box commercial in the ’70s.” The university shares its campus with a professional soccer team, the L.A. Galaxy, and yet, in the midst of all this action, finds room to sport a 4 percent four-year graduation rate.

Fun facts about Carson: according to citytowninfo.com, “About half of its land is taken up by factories, refineries, and other industrial structures.”

Movoto.com: “Real Estate Made Easy,” says Carson is the tenth most boring city in California. I would quibble with that, but when one looks at the top five (Lakewood, Lancaster, West Covina, Victorville, Merced), you have to admit the competition is first-rate.

P.S. Don’t forget to visit the Goodyear Blimp landing pad.