San Diego Zoo Safari Park issues clarifying statement on Tiger Power

Following the alleged horrific stabbing of a Wisconsin girl by two 12-year-old classmates who were seeking to prove their dedication to the fictional character of Slender Man, and following the horrific Isla Vista shooting spree by young, sexually frustrated loner Elliot Rodger in May, San Diego Zoo Safari Park spokesman Nick Pan made the following statement to the press:

"In December of 2013, the juvenile male lion Connor inflicted fatal injuries on the slightly older female lion Tiga Tahun during a mating session at the San Diego Zoo. In light of this unfortunate event, we would just like to make it clear that the San Diego Zoo Safari Park's Tiger Trail motto — 'Tiger Power: See It, Feel It, Live It' — is intended to inspire young people who visit the park. The campaign playfully asks our guests to identify with the confidence and power of tigers in the hopes that it will build greater appreciation for one of nature’s top predators. It should not in any way be seen as an encouragement for young men to attack and kill women while attempting to mate with them. This should go without saying. But we're saying it."

"It's true that tigers are violent beasts without a discernible moral compass," admitted Pan, "Also, that the males only associate with the females for mating purposes. Also, that aggressive behavior during mating is not unusual for jungle cats. But that doesn't mean anyone should think we're suggesting that...shit. Does anybody know if we can maybe get [Calvin & Hobbes creator Bill] Watterson to reconsider our mascot offer?"