San Diego Water Dept. readies launch of proprietary luxury water

"We couldn't be more excited," says Water Department head Thomas Crapper. "For years, we've been negotiating for the exclusive rights to a previously untapped water source, one with almost unlimited potential. Now that those rights have been successfully acquired, we'll be able to apply our cutting-edge technology to produce the purest, healthiest, most refreshing water ever bottled. We call it Flushe because of the water's wonderful cleansing powers. A bottle a day will go a long way towards flushing out your gunked-up innards! In these difficult times, we're thrilled to offer a product that will provide water to a thirsty public and revenue for a tapped-out Department."