Das Rheingold would have made more sense.

San Diego’s Stone Brewery has issued a Götterdämmerung IPA. Those dudes must have stones if they’re going to name an India Pale Ale after a German opera which depicts the end of the world.

I mentioned this beer to a friend who is into craft beers and his response was, “How did they fit it into a bottle?”

The “it” he is talking about is the five hours of sheer epic-icity which is Wagner’s Götterdämmerung.

IPA was developed by British brewers to be exported to the empire. It was designed to hold up well as it was transported the 5,000 or so miles to India. California breweries have effectively usurped this variety of beer for the past few decades by adding hops, hops and more hops.

Hey, what have you got there? A German beer recipe? Let’s add some extra hops--boom--German IPA. What’s that? A nutty brown? Hops, hops, hops Nutty IPA. Hey what have you got there? Cranberry juice? Let’s add hops--boom--Cran IPA.

Götterdämmerung is an IPA that is, according to the Stone website, “...starring an all-German cast of malt and hops, is yet one more glorious example of a Stone IPA brewed outside the box...create this IPA entirely with pilsner malts.”

Excuse me for being closed-minded but if it’s outside the box of IPAs then how is it an IPA and if it’s made entirely of pilsner malts what does that mean? Is it a pilsner pale ale?

This reminds me of the four door coupe. That’s not a coupe a-holes it’s a sedan. Christ.

Have I tried this beer?

No.

Will I try it?

No.

Why?

Because I’m an Arrogant Bastard.

The use of Götterdämmerung for the name of an IPA appears to be cashing in on the cool looking umlauts and the perceived un-pronounce-ability for the average beer drinker thereby reinforcing the smug factor for the hippest of hipsters who can get their bearded mouths around the correct pronunciation.

I can hear them now, “Bro, it’s not Gahtterdammerung, it’s Götterdammerung. Dude it’s like an opera by Wagner it means Twilight of the Gods. I’m sure you haven’t heard of it.”

They might get the umlaut right on the “O” but they’ll never get the “A” umlaut or the uvular “R” and they’ll pronounce Wagner as if it’s Robert Wagner.

Piss.

Don’t get me started on naming a beer Pliny the Elder.

Of course, that could be an instance of the hipster’s favorite idiom, irony. Pliny the Elder, one of the great Romans, is now a bottle of beer. Get it, it’s irony, just like my single gear bike, Sony Walkman, and dolphin shorts.

To wrap things up we have the apex of German opera now bottled as an IPA which is outside the IPA box and uses pilsner malts but isn’t a pilsner. It sounds like a pretender to me.

You might not agree with Wagner’s views but his Götterdämmerung is no wannabe and I dare any hipster to try to hang his ears on it.

So help me God if Stone follows this up with a complete Ring Cycle of beers.