Looks Like We Made It!

Before Barry Manilow plays the Sports Arena on Sunday, October 18, “Barry’s fan club shows up at 11 a.m. to decorate his dressing room.” Security must be manning hallway doors by 3 p.m. because “Barry will want a closed sound check.… We want to keep anyone from inadvertently running into Barry.”

In addition, “Under no circumstances is anyone not directly affiliated with the tour [wearing a laminated tour pass] to disturb the artist at any time. There are to be no requests for autographs or photos from anyone backstage.”

Manilow’s dressing room “must be spotlessly clean, sanitized, and contain a private shower, toilet, and sink” stocked with “soft bathroom tissue and neutral deodorant spray, an adequate supply of hand soap, and Kleenex tissues.” A piano tuner must be on hand who “must be able to tune the piano to a midi module.”

Finally, “Barry will want the arena to be 65 degrees on stage at 8 p.m. This is very important and must be adhered to.” After all, at that temperature, fans will be more inclined to make tour-shirt purchases.

In other Manilow news, according to a recent issue of Variety, R.E.M. front man Michael Stipe and his Single Cell film company are in production on a Barry Manilow–themed romantic comedy about a group of Manilow fans who follow the piano-pop star to showbiz mecca Las Vegas. Money, baby.