Ms. Branch, Your Yoo-Hoo Is Here

When Michelle Branch plays the Star 94.1 Jingle Ball at Anthology on Sunday, December 13, the band dressing room requires a dozen Krispy Kreme doughnuts (“plain glazed only”), a pack of flip-tab tuna in water (“white only”), hummus and pita bread (“wheat”), a jar of peanut butter (“creamy”), assorted Pop Tarts (“brown sugar cinnamon and chocolate”), edamame, and cold cereal (“12 assorted little boxes”).

Drinks: ten boxes of Capri Sun Surfer Cooler Juice, two bottles of red wine (“Zinfandel, Shiraz, or Merlot”), a 12-pack each of Heineken, Corona, Budweiser, and Bud Lite, six cans of Red Bull energy drink, two four-packs of Starbucks Vanilla Frappuccino, and a six-pack of chocolate Yoo-hoo.

A six-pack of Bud must be placed in ice chests at stage right and stage left, and Branch’s dressing room needs a package of Hanes tagless small men’s white tank tops (“wife beaters”). In addition, at least five million dollars’ worth of liability insurance must be purchased “no later than seven days prior” to the performance.

Finally, Branch requires a “guarantee that there will be absolutely no stage diving or crowd surfing permitted in the venue.” That’s at Anthology. A Michelle Branch concert. Not a problem.