In the Woods

Comedic singer-songwriter Happy Ron – aka Ronald Hill – recently attended a weeklong “How Music Really Works” seminar/retreat in Canada.

“On one of the last days,” says Hill, “I had the opportunity to perform my song ‘All She Needs Is a Spankin’,’ and I was a bit concerned that people might be offended by the rude lyrics, especially this one serious-looking lady.”

(Sample lyric: “Something no man would give her/ Something that made her quiver/ A little smack on the butt/ And she’ll no longer be a nut.”)

“After I finished, the lady I was worried about jumped up and said, ‘I teach this kinda stuff, does anyone want a spanking demonstration?’ I told her that I’m generally the spanker, not the spankee, but a braver man than I volunteered to be the spankee, and suddenly this serene mountain paradise was transformed into a bizarre class in spanking. It went on for ten more minutes!

“The leader of the group turned to me and said, ‘Your songs sure have an interesting impact on people.’ It wouldn’t have been so funny if these were a bunch of swinger types, but they were all fairly typical, normal people who suddenly threw an impromptu spanking party in the woods.”

Happy Ron’s upcoming album Terribly Happy includes his ode to spanking as well as “The No Tantric Woman Blues,” “Sick of Her S**t,” and “Dickless Wonder.” He appears Tuesdays at Cosmos Coffee Cafe in La Mesa.