Don't Worry, We're Not Hippies

Some gems from November posts on the San Diego Musicians page at craigslist.org:

"Looking for some people to jam with. I'm not looking for the best.... Must be willing to piss off neighbors, must like to drink beer!"

"Looking for acoustic or stand-up bassist.... We're pretty laid back. We drink and burn. Don't worry, we're not hippies."

"Musicians who are aware that the time of their rising has arrived...is it clear to you that through the infinity power of sound you can make a difference in humanity? Do you posses the talent to make a difference through your music?"

"Bassist wanted for experimental jazz group. No real songs, just solid improv.... We have gigs. Yes, even though it's definitely not popular music, we have gigs. We know people."

"I am a female musician (27 years old) with 20-plus years of professional gigging experience...with no money and no car. Can you drive me to gigs and record my songs?"

"I need two female vocalists or cheer leaders. The part is a small cheer on a hip-hop track. The vocalists need to be able to cheer the word: K-N-O-L-E-G-E...you will be compensated $10 for your time."

"Bass player needed... 420 friendly, no egos and no emos."

"We are searching for a vocalist who can provide his/her share of the money...needed to take a band to a professional level."

"I have never been in a band or performed my own songs for anyone other than my family and friends [but] I recently had an epiphany where it was made very clear that I need to start singing."

"I look just like James Hetfield from Metallica.... I have sang in bands and we did a Metallica cover and it went over pretty well. I think there is some good money to be made doing this."

"Female background singer wanted.... You don't need to be super thin, but we want someone without a weight problem."