News From The Camps

Coming close to football. The NFL preseason kicks off in three weeks and change, so it's not too early to start collecting the best sports reporting from team training camps.

To begin, the Denver Broncos are camped at the Paul D. Bowlen Memorial Centre in Englewood, Colorado. The Englewood Herald is the newspaper of record. Follows is a featured sports story.

"Proud friends and families wearing brightly colored ear plugs planted their lawn chairs to watch the U.S. National SWAT competition June 29 and 30.

"Ten teams decked in helmets, bullet-proof vests, and fatigue garb competed for the berth in the first U.S. National SWAT competition at the Highland Ranch Law Enforcement Training Facility.

". . . Of the ten teams present, only four were from Colorado: Boulder County, Aurora, Teller County, and Bureau of Prison SORT, from Supermax Federal Prison in Pueblo. Douglas County Sheriff's Office was not allowed to compete because they hosted."

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The Baltimore Ravens host camp at McDaniel College (home of the Green Terror), in Westminster, Maryland. McDaniel College is "a private, selective college of the liberal arts and sciences offering a life-changing education to undergraduate and graduate students....Professors are first and foremost teachers and mentors: you'll see them cheering from the sidelines of a soccer match or chatting with students over lunch in the Pub..."

Hate to interrupt this idyllic river of misrepresentations, but we have breaking Westminster, Maryland, sports news by way of the Carroll County Times. "'Jane Rogers's Golden Girls recently invaded Fort Knox, emerging victorious with treasures draped around their necks.

"No, this senior women's softball team didn't actually loot the United States Bullion Depository located at the famous army base south of Louisville, KY. They won gold medals by claiming a national title at the Senior Olympic Games partly because of Rogers's stalwart play at first base. . ."

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The Cincinnati Bengals train at Georgetown College in Georgetown, Kentucky. The Georgetown News-Graphic leads with a photo caption, "Shelby County's Dre Farris, left, beats out a grounder as Scott County first baseman Will Pitts stretches to catch the ball Friday at Suffoletta Park. . .

"The Shelby County 10-year-old All-Stars scored five runs in the first inning, and went on to defeat the Scott County 10-year-old All-Stars 10-2 Friday at Suffoletta Park."

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You can find the Kansas City Chiefs at University of Wisconsin-River Falls in River Falls, Wisconsin. River Falls is ably served by the River Falls Journal. Keeping "River Falls" in the front of one's mind at all times, the River Falls Journal tells us, "The River Falls American Legion won three more games last week to improve to 8-2 on the season.

"The Legion traveled to Ellsworth Monday and has the rest of the week off before hosting Ellsworth this Monday, July 9, at 6 p.m. at the high school field."

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When in camp, the Oakland Raiders stay at the Napa Valley Marriott in Napa Valley, California. That's the Napa Valley Marriott Hotel & Spa to you. But, since we're here, why not join the team in a Quality Room for $209 per night? Better, why not select a Garden View room for an affordable $269, or hell, sign up for the Garden View Babymoon package. For a lousy $752 per night you get your room plus "breakfast and dinner for two, couples massage, complimentary spa robes and a special gift for baby." No baby? So what.

The local paper for the Napa Valley Marriott Hotel and Spa is The Napa Valley Register. Follows is their sports report wrapped up in a man's-sized sentence. "Twenty-four of the Napa Valley Swim Team's members have qualified for Pacific Swimming's Adam Szmidt Memorial Long Course Junior Olympics, to be held July 19--22."

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The consistently despised Arizona Cardinals train at Northern Arizona University in Flagstaff, Arizona. Sports news is brought to you buy Flagstaff's own Navajo Hopi Observer. "Hopi High's DeAnn Honanie won the individual state championship in the 3,200-meter run May 12 at Mesa High School in the 3A State Track and Field Championships.

"Honanie, a 17-year-old junior, said she felt great when she won. She said she pushed all her problems aside and concentrated more on what she wanted -- to win the state title." (Sporting Box editorial insert, "Nice going, DeAnn.")

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Finally, the Tampa Bay Buccaneers train in Lake Buena Vista, Florida. According to Wikipedia, Lake Buena Vista is a city . . . "mostly known for being home to the Walt Disney World Resort. The population was 16 at the 2000 census. As of 2004, the population recorded by the U.S. Census Bureau is 15. It is one of two Florida municipalities controlled by The Walt Disney Company."

What the hell is Walt Disney doing with two towns in Florida? On the other hand, maybe they should take a look at San Diego.

The Vegas Line can be found at sdreader.com, click on "Sporting Box".