Fabulously Grotesque

'I haven't gotten any heat from the Gabor estate yet," says one-man band Zsa Zsa Gabor, who doubts anyone will mistake him for the Hungarian-born socialite whose name he co-opted. "What I do is perform with prerecorded found-sounds and a synthesizer running through effect pedals that I manipulate to create harsh noise. I also use samples, and although I don't have lyrics, each track has its own story. It's sort of like scary movie-soundtrack music." He says getting gigs is so difficult that "Sometimes I have to lie and say I'm indie rock."

Gabor (real name Samuel Lopez) recalls going over poorly at O'Connell's. "I sensed bad vibes in the joint the minute I walked in...I played about 15 minutes before the owner stumbled over to me, spittle flying from his mouth, hands over ears: 'Enough, it's over! Turn it off!' I can't believe I made it that far. There was this inebriated-looking gentleman standing next to my equipment the whole time I was playing, and I seriously thought he was going to take a swing at me. Right after the owner unplugged me, another intoxicated patron lamented that he couldn't believe he turned the Rolling Stones off the jukebox for me."

WHAT'S IN YOUR CD PLAYER?

1. Riververb, S/T ("It sends chills up my spine and lightning out my bloodshot eyes.")

2. Nels Cline, Immolation/Immersion ("Listening to this in the morning is like mainlining caffeine.")

3. Chicago, The Very Best of Chicago: Only the Beginning ("As much as I like the sounds of bulldozers scraping off the top of my skull at 124 miles per hour, I need this stuff to bring me back to reality.")

4. The Sun City Girls, High Asia/Lo Pacific ("A total mind-bending, genre-crossing, peel-off-your-skin-and-pour-salt-on freak out. This will put you in a trance quicker than a million strobe lights.")

5. Boris, Pink ("Galaxy-sized thunder doom, kicked-in-the-teeth gutter punk, with Blue Cheer power chording.")

DESERT ISLAND DVDs?

1. Santa Sangre ("Filled with fabulously grotesque characters.")

2. Hated: G.G. Allin and the Murder Junkies ("Todd Phillips really hit me over the head with this amazing documentary of one of America's premiere shock performers and his un-merry band of insane musicians.")

3. The Royal Tenenbaums ("I'd have to say that this is probably a perfect movie...the suicide scene makes we weep.")

4. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior ("Just pure uncut effin' coolness.")

5. Gummo ("A total mind screw! Harmony Korine did an outstanding job in assembling these sick little disturbing scenes...I always have to take a shower after watching this one.")

FAVORITE LOCAL EATERY?

"19th Hole in Golden Hill -- a true hidden gem with a wonderful view. I always get the two-egg omelet with bacon and cheddar cheese, hash browns, and white toast. Breakfast for two runs about $25."

FINISH THIS SENTENCE: "WHEN I DRINK..."

"...you're driving."

SOMETHING ABOUT YOU FEW WOULD KNOW OR GUESS?

"That I am Christian."