Does a shower help rehydrate you when you are hung over?

O Great Imbiber:

Does a shower help rehydrate you when you're hung over, or does it just wash the stink off?

-- Greg in OB

It's like this, Greg. Ya gotta get that agua inside you before it does any good. If you shower long enough, the cells on the top layer of your skin will plump up a little bit, but then all you'll be is a puffy drunk. And unless you're a piece of freeze-dried fruit, that's not what "rehydration" means. Alcohol squeezes lots of water out of your insides. Ever notice that drunks are usually doing one of two things: repeating themselves or peeing? Basic physiology, man. Water can't get into your bloodstream through your skin. Stand in the shower with your mouth open, if that's the best you can manage. (Is somebody keeping an eye on our friend here? I hope so.)