I've been back at St. Vinny's for several weeks now. How disappointing, how discouraging, how horrible. For 3 years I was legit: working two jobs, had a man, had a place to live. But homelessness is evil, like a dried booger that hides in the corner of your nose. You can't see or feel it but others can. Homelessness is relentless. Those of us it touches, though we think we've escaped its clutches, we always come back. Why? Maybe we try to change people when we should be trying to change society. Maybe America is not perfect yet and our Constitution still contains goals yet to be reached. All I know is that no place is safe. Nobody is safe from crime, corruption, fear and violence. We always come back. For one year of my life, I was under-employed but very happy to be a taxpayer again. The change in my status, from leech to working woman, was too much for my old man. I worked six days a week, had two part-time jobs that never added up to full-time employment, and I was barely able to pay rent plus feed myself.
In 2008, the last time I lived at St. Vinny's, I was still a positive thinker, all full of hope for the future (even at age 54!), still a social being, and still full of lusts. This time, I am taking my problems more seriously. I talk only when neccessary, smile only when happy, do not react to drama, and I've quit both cigarettes and coffee. I am so very boring which may become a blessing in disguise. I want to do things differently this time. St. Vinny's is changing too. With their new leader, Sister Tricia (named just this week), maybe the dilemma of homelessness will change in San Diego. We all need to think and to act outside of the box in order to defeat the horrendous problems associated with poverty.