Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Review: Scary Movie V

After Beetlejuice's cameo in Scary Movie II provided the only legitimate laugh in the film, a pass on all future sequels seemed unavoidable.

I was working the day watch out of the Clairemont Town Square. Trance, my 11:05 wake up movie, failed to cast a spell. Danny Boyle is too nice a guy to make something as inherently unclean as Trance work. I needed another movie in the worst way. With only 20 minutes separating the shows, I set sail on Scary Movie 5.

There's a lot to be said for quitting while you're behind. The worst way is exactly what I got.

The Dickie Goodman song parodies of yesteryear helped to pave the way for these copyright-infringing movie parodies that, for me, ran out of fuel after the first Airplane!. Goodman would "sample" lyrics from popular songs and re-purpose them as punch lines for his hugely successful string of call-and-response novelty songs. None of the Scary Movie entries are so bold as to tamper with clips from other actual movies -- they couldn't afford the royalties.

What put my butt in a seat at yesterday's matinee performance was director Malcolm Lee's participation. No slouch when it comes to parodying existing forms, Undercover Brother handily outclassed both Austin Powers pictures combined.

What good is a PG-13 parody of R-rated movies? They bleep profanity, for fuck's sake! The list of films SM5 deems ripe for ridicule must also be brought into question. Cabin in the Woods, Mama, and Evil Dead are all scary movies, but what about Inception, Black Swan, and the blood-curdling Rise of the Planet of the Apes? When the joke machine sputters, as it frequently does, cue Boots Randolph's Yakety Sax, set the camera to undercrank, and pay tribute to one of pop culture's most horrifying and diabolical creations, Benny Hill.

Fans of Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen (do such creatures even exist?) won't get much more than what was already leaked in the trailer. Other celebrity day workers -- Usher, Heather Locklear, Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams, Sarah Hyland, etc. -- are on hand to pick up a paycheck and hot bowl of soup. And I'm betting that right about now former Disney dolly, Ashley Tisdale, is strangling her agent for not getting her a part in Spring Breakers.

The ill-timed sight-gags and Lidia Porto's borderline racist depiction of a domestic account for more cringes than chuckles. There were more laughs than anticipated, most of them coming at the expense of the underage cast members.

I stuck through the closing credits hoping to catch the name of the actor responsible for the sharpest, most satirically honed performance in the piece. Alas, our narrator, "The Voice of Morgan Freeman" received no screen credit.

Reader Rating: Zero Stars

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Mid-range fleet scoring bluefin limits off Ensenada

Rockfish to open at all depths April 1st (no foolin’)

After Beetlejuice's cameo in Scary Movie II provided the only legitimate laugh in the film, a pass on all future sequels seemed unavoidable.

I was working the day watch out of the Clairemont Town Square. Trance, my 11:05 wake up movie, failed to cast a spell. Danny Boyle is too nice a guy to make something as inherently unclean as Trance work. I needed another movie in the worst way. With only 20 minutes separating the shows, I set sail on Scary Movie 5.

There's a lot to be said for quitting while you're behind. The worst way is exactly what I got.

The Dickie Goodman song parodies of yesteryear helped to pave the way for these copyright-infringing movie parodies that, for me, ran out of fuel after the first Airplane!. Goodman would "sample" lyrics from popular songs and re-purpose them as punch lines for his hugely successful string of call-and-response novelty songs. None of the Scary Movie entries are so bold as to tamper with clips from other actual movies -- they couldn't afford the royalties.

What put my butt in a seat at yesterday's matinee performance was director Malcolm Lee's participation. No slouch when it comes to parodying existing forms, Undercover Brother handily outclassed both Austin Powers pictures combined.

What good is a PG-13 parody of R-rated movies? They bleep profanity, for fuck's sake! The list of films SM5 deems ripe for ridicule must also be brought into question. Cabin in the Woods, Mama, and Evil Dead are all scary movies, but what about Inception, Black Swan, and the blood-curdling Rise of the Planet of the Apes? When the joke machine sputters, as it frequently does, cue Boots Randolph's Yakety Sax, set the camera to undercrank, and pay tribute to one of pop culture's most horrifying and diabolical creations, Benny Hill.

Fans of Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen (do such creatures even exist?) won't get much more than what was already leaked in the trailer. Other celebrity day workers -- Usher, Heather Locklear, Mike Tyson, Snoop Dogg, Katt Williams, Sarah Hyland, etc. -- are on hand to pick up a paycheck and hot bowl of soup. And I'm betting that right about now former Disney dolly, Ashley Tisdale, is strangling her agent for not getting her a part in Spring Breakers.

The ill-timed sight-gags and Lidia Porto's borderline racist depiction of a domestic account for more cringes than chuckles. There were more laughs than anticipated, most of them coming at the expense of the underage cast members.

I stuck through the closing credits hoping to catch the name of the actor responsible for the sharpest, most satirically honed performance in the piece. Alas, our narrator, "The Voice of Morgan Freeman" received no screen credit.

Reader Rating: Zero Stars

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.