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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c5bvK-pMzJM&feature=player_embedded&noredirect=1

When you're taking a children's book and stretching it into a nine-hour film, you naturally want to avoid the kind of ponderous seriousness that bogs things down. Happily, you've got a natural source of comic relief in dwarves. Sure, the leader has to be all serious and heroic, but there are 12 others that you can bring to whimsical bear on the matter. I mean, just look at this crowd:

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Monkeyface Jesus would fit right in there at the back, don't you think?

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So, without further ado, the dwarvish revue:

:28 - Synchronized bowing and greeting!

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:31 - Friendly head-butting!

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:32 - Beard-pulling!

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:34 - Food tossing!

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1:22 - Rabbit sled! Because dwarves are smallish!

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All this is not to say that Bilbo "Barcalounger" Baggins is bereft of bon mots. This exchange at 1:44 with Gollum...

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"If Baggins loses, we eats it whole."

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"Fair enough."

...recalls classic Monty Python! (Forward to 5:14 if you're in a hurry.) Ho ho - such sanguinity in the face of being eaten whole! How very English!

Moving along, then, to the trailer's end, the parting shot, the final image, the lingering last impression...our heroes are half-buried in rubble, groaning in pain. Just then, one of them muses, "Well, that could have been worse."

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Aaaaand cue the falling corpse of a bisected giant.

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Cut to credits, over which can be heard the growled exclamation, "You have got to be joking!"

Precisely.

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4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
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