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Warner Bros. unveiled their redesign of the Superman shield for next year's Man of Steel. The Dark Knight/Spider-Man hybrid indicates that all hopes of a comedic take along the lines of Superman 2 will be scrubbed in favor of a dire, edgy tone. It's Hollywood's way of hoodwinking 9-year-old children of all ages into believing that what they're watching somehow approximates depth and complexity.

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Look! Up in the sky! It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's another idiot who gave Zack Snyder a budget!

The good news is Christopher Nolan only contributed to the story of Man of Steel, so there 's a chance that the third act might actually come together without the aid of his patented metaphysical bullshit. On the downside, we'll probably be calling for director Zack Snyder's permanent banishment to the Fortress of Solitude should he decide to sucker punch the crown by turning Superman into another one of his cardboard Watchmen.

What follows is a brief illustrated history of the men, women, and other assorted anthropomorphic personage behind the costume.

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Jerry Siegel and Joe Shuster's original design from the mid-'30's. Swap out the 'S' for a 'G' and you'll have something resembling a law enforcement badge carried by J. Edgar Hoover's G-Men.

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Superman's first appeared on the cover of Action Comics #1 (June 1938).

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Future game show host Bud Collyer provided the voice for the Man of Steel in The Adventures of Superman radio show (1940-1951) and the Fleischer and Famous Studios cartoons. Collyer was once again asked to voice the character for the animated series, The New Adventures of Superman (1966-1969).

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The Max & Dave Fleischer and Famous Studios series of 17 Technicolor Superman cartoon shorts were released between 1941-1943.

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Bugs Bunny in Chuck Jones' Super-Rabbit (1943).

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Private Snafu, the animated star of numerous U.S. Army Air Force First Motion Picture Unit propaganda shorts, seen here as Snafuperman (1944).

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Kirk Alyn, the first actor to portray the Man of Steel on screen, in the Columbia serial, Superman (1948).

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George Reeves, disgruntled star of the television series, Adventures of Superman (1952-1958), and proof positive that a flying man can die.

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Daffy Duck in Robert McKimson's Stupor Duck (1956).

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Lucy and Superman (1957).

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The Adventures of Super Pup (1958): Wanting to keep the franchise alive after Reeve's death, producer Whitney Ellsworth decided to turn Metropolis into an all-canine universe populated by midgets wearing dog masks. Unfortunately, the show never went past the pilot stage.

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Speaking of little people dressed as Superman, here's everyone's favorite Jolly Dwarf, performance artist Lester 'Beetlejuice' Green, doing good as Smallville's #1 Pimp.

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This explains so much. From Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #64 (October, 1962).

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More powerful than a flame-retardant face mask, it's Ben Cooperman!

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Oh, yeah! Timpani! Superman meets Super-Jew in The Adventures of Jerry Lewis #105 (March-April 1968).

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Christopher Reeve portrayed Krypton's last son in Superman 1-4 (1978-1987). For my money, the Richard Lester cut of Superman 2 stands as the smartest and funniest comic book adaptation ever to hit the big screen.

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Marlon Brando, the highest paid resident of the planet Krypton.

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Helen Slater starred in Jeannot Szwarc's 1984 box office flop, Supergirl.

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Black Superman!

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Ilya and Alexander Salkind, producers of the Christopher Reeve pictures, decided to try their luck with the syndicated TV show, The Adventures of Superboy. John Haymes Newman played the titular lead in the series that ran from 1989-1982.

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Dean Cain and Teri Hatcher in the ABC-TV series Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman (1993–1997).

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Tom Welling as the young Kent in the WB's Smallville (2001-2011).

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The instantly forgettable Brandon Routh in Superman Returns (2006).

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Who cares is she has nothing to do with the franchise? Meagan Fox is hot!

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The Superman that never was. Try as he might, fanboy Nicolas Cage couldn't get Kevin Smith's script for Superman Lives off the ground.

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According to the GOP, Barack Obama is a strange visitor from another planet whose Kryptonite is a birth certificate.

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Henry Cavill sporting next year's quilted Hefty trash bag edition.

Correction: An earlier version of this article misstated that Christopher Nolan did not have a hand in Man of Steel. Nolan is credited with working on the story and the piece has been corrected to reflect it.

[1]: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJnsZrVn0vc