Almost Factual News


Kevin Faulconer: "We can't run San Diego's government because we can't stop thinking about Bob Filner's sexual hijinks."

"Who gives a crap about roads and water and garbage like that when there are groped breasts and tongued throats to be considered?"

PRESS CONFERENCE HAPPENING RIGHT NOW - "Our taxpayers deserve a City Council that can do its work without having to ...

Comic-Con 2013 hires Nerd Herders to keep crowds moving smoothly

Convention organizers: "We must never have a repeat of 2012's Saturday Stampede. These seemingly harmless creatures can turn deadly under the wrong conditions."


In wake of allegations, local strip club begins offering "Filner dance"

"Of course, here at Cheetah's Totally Nude, we do better because we work without panties on, just like the Mayor said."

As details from the sexual harassment allegations against Mayor Bob Filner continue to spill out, at least one local business ...

NYC Mayoral Candidate Anthony Weiner: "Bob Filner is a model mayor."

Former Democratic Congressman, disgraced after sending explicit text pics, says he regrets resigning in 2011, praises Filner's "firm grip" on his office. "Looking back," says Weiner, "I can see that my resignation was a selfish act. I was embarrassed and ashamed ...

In latest glitch, Apple Maps labels San Diego "Groperville"

Apple blames latest mistake on faulty map app's interactivity with Apple iNews app San Diego's downtown - that's the train station in the lower left quadrant - clearly mislabeled. Apple CEO Tim ...

Filner scandal makes cover of national magazine

"Quite frankly, we find the resemblance a bit uncanny." Alfred E. who, man?

As Democratic support wavers, Bill Clinton sends Bob Filner "Hang in There!" card

"This lil' pussy just won't quit, and neither should you!" reads former President's inscription Still no word, however, from former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton

U-T San Diego issues apology for Filner typo

These things happen

Statement from U-T San Diego Chief Copyeditor Ti Po: "U-T San Diego remains committed to quality, objective journalism. Sexual harassment ...

Mayor's former Transparency Czar repeats murky call for his resignation

"Saying 'sorry' isn't enough," said Donafria at a press conference today in which she repeated her call for the Mayor ...

In wake of scandal, Mayor Filner to propose new Weak Mayor guidelines

The power of Strong Mayor is simply too much for some men.

Yesterday, Emperor, er, Mayor Filner issued a video apology to the City of San Diego for his "inappropriate and wrong" ...

The unkindest cut

Emperor Filner's beloved First Lady of San Diego deserts him, citing "devolvement in personal relationship" and "knowing which way the wind is blowing."

First picture of City Hall debauchery emerges

Warning: not for the squeamish.

The following photo was delivered to the offices of SD on the QT by a man who would identify himself ...

Bob on the Throne, meet Jack in the Box

Local fast-food exec vows to remodel North Park restaurant without "traveling down the Sunroad and dropping off a sack of cash at the foot of Filner's latest pet project." A photo sent from Mr. Box's office to Mr. Filner's office and later obtained by SD on the QT ...

Emperor Tibobius accused of sexual debauchery by members of ruling class

Former Member of the High Council Donafria turns on former ally against the Development Hordes that have so long despoiled our peace, calls for his removal.

The scene, as recounted by Donafria in her impassioned speech just before taking her own life on the floor of ...

Police investigating mysterious disappearance of Padres President/CEO Tom Garfinkel

"One day, they announce his resignation, and the next, he's gone - poof."

Was struggling exec sacrificed to the baseball gods? "Look," said Padres Executive Chairman Ron Fowler, who took over Garfinkel's post ...

Did Emperor Filnero purge staff of disloyal traitors?

Former Deputy Chief of Staff Allen Jones dies shortly after consuming "foraged mushroom tart" at The Linkery. Filnero: "You want humiliation? I crucified St. Peter upside down!" Emperor Filnero's longtime aide and counsel Allen Jones died ...

Emperor Bobigula appoints his horse as new communications director

In wake of Irene McCormack's resignation, Mayor-turned-Emperor appoints someone he can trust to deliver his messages to the masses. A Sunroad for the Sun God - when you think about it, it's only fitting. First statement from Communications ...

Little Italy Festa announces theme for 2013 chalk festival: "City Attorney Goldsmith is a ______."

First prize to whichever chalk artist comes up with the finest fill-in-the-blank.

The City Attorney's office suffered another public relations setback today over its attempt to prosecute a man who wrote anti-bank ...

Goldsmith drops statement: "F*ck tha Police Force"

Rapper/City Attorney fires back after Mayor ejects Assistant City Attorney Andrew Jones from closed session meeting

Related Man, f-ck tha police force and the unwarranted use thereof/ Bob Filner's just an iron fist wrapped in a ...

Congressman makes marriage proposal

As the nation waits for the Supreme Court's ruling on the constitutionality of Proposition 8, the California ballot initiative that ...

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