Strong Mayor: Arch-Enemy Team-Up!
Strong Mayor's foes combine forces: Occupy San Diego attempts citizen's arrest of Strong Mayor for embezzlement related to Qualcomm Snapdragon deal.
Manchester Messenger Gets Meta
Mogul's Mass-Market Media Machine Makes Much of Mayoral Mating Meh. "The news that no one cares about the possibility of a gay mayor is not news, and that's news!"
State of the (Imperfect) Union
Typo at Local Public Broadcasting Website Goes Viral, Causes Uproar FOX News Responds: "A rare moment of honesty from the liberal media." KPBS Manager: "That should read, 'America is Back!'"
Hipster Dropoff
Following San Diego's Failure to Make Top 10 List of Hipster Cities, Pop Sensation One Republic Decides to Remove City's Name from Alternate Lyrics for Hit Single "Good Life" "Gotta protect the brand, ya know?" Everybody knows that One Republic's …
"I Learned It From You, Dad!"
Poway Town Hall Meeting on Teen Drug Abuse Yields Plan for Parental Instruction on Responsible Drug Use "The family that tokes together, jokes together." NO LONGER KIDDING OURSELVES, POWAY - Last Thursday, the Poway Intentional Leadership League (PILL) held a …
Dalai Lama Announces Pilgrimage to East County's "Buddha McDonald"
Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama, the supreme religious head of Tibet, has announced his intention to visit San Diego this April. Publicly, he is journeying to America's Finest City for Drinking Lots of Beer in order to give a …
La Jolla: Sun, Sand, Surf, and Sh*t
"Look at them," says La Jolla matron Eloise McKinley-Braeburton with disgust as she gazes down at the seals basking on the sand at La Jolla Cove. "Lying there on the beach like...well, like fat pieces of shit." The profanity is …
BREAKING! Balboa Park's House of Iran Implicated in Scheme to Funnel Gold to Ron Paul Presidential Campaign
Candidate's Campaign Staffer Seen Entering Building in Park's International Village Empty-Handed, Leaving with Briefcase He Can Barely Carry Paul: "'Foreign entanglements' are one thing; 'foreign investments' are another." Apparently, uranium isn't the only thing getting enriched by Iran these days. …
A Tip of the Hat
Well, perhaps we ought not to have used "tip," but still...sometimes, you have to admit when you're beaten. Nothing we can do today will top this story in the Manchester Messenger: "Jury awards man with penis injury $7.5 million." Our …
Camp Pendleton General to Lead Inquiry into "Operation Golden Shower"
Marine Corps commander Gen. John Able today announced that Camp Pendlteon-based Lt. Gen. Tim Wolfhausen, commanding general of Marine Corps Forces Central Command, will oversee an investigation into the recently released video of Marines urinating on the corpses of enemy …
Southwestern Cover-Up?
Outrage over contractor's jokes to BCA Architects that commission for helping to land Southwestern development contract should be "naked chick for a year" dismissed by BCA as "a naked grab for a juicy headline." "Naked chick for a year" was …
Heroic Navy SEAL Thwarts Attempted Invasion of American Nether Region
Bold Attack Narrowly Averted by Quick Thinking, Decisive Action - But at a Terrible Cost "He took that bullet to protect precious American resources." A young Navy SEAL is in critical condition today following an act of heroic self-sacrifice at …
Chargers Defensive Coordinator Fired
Coach Norv Turner Explains, "The people are a great beast, and when they cry for blood, they must be appeased." O Greg Manusky, We Hardly Knew Ye SITTING IN AN EMPTY, SILENT LOCKER ROOM AT SNAPDRAGON STADIUM, PONDERING LIFE'S UPS …
Eminem Goes to Coronado
New Album Will Address "Victorian Nightmare" of Picturesque City in Wake of Recent Tragedies "Death and hate in the 118." Once again, Coronado is in the news in a story about horrific violent crime, this time a multiple murder-suicide that …
Turner Triumphant
Chargers Owner-Patron Spanos Retains Coach-Provocateur Despite/Because of Hugely Middling Season What does it all mean? Read on! Note from Mencken: We here at SD on the QT can understand if there are some Chargers fans out there who have found …
San Diego Reader Announces Name Change
In response to U-T San Diego's new, shortened IHOP/KFC-style moniker, San Diego Reader Announces New Company Brand Name "Now, it's just 'R.' Or maybe 'R: SD.' We're still deciding. But yeah. Something short. And hip. Edgy, even."
OOPS
Leaked Report Reveals Real Reason for Bin Laden's Burial at Sea; Body was Dropped from USS Carl Vinson by Naval Officer on Spice High Sailor now known as "Watchoo Bin Smokin" Lately, the United States military has undertaken a sustained …
Former San Diego Superintendent Promoted to Dark Knight
Onetime Education Secretary and Border Czar Tasked With Saving Humanity from Itself. "It seemed the next logical step." Pictured: Bersin, solving the immigration problem: "You know what the real Bane is? Undocumented labor!" Earlier today, President Obama, after accepting Alan …
San Diego: The Downward Spiral
Lackluster DUI Performance During New Year's Weekend Threatens One of Metropolis's Last Remaining Distinctions As America's Bleariest City "I mean, what's next? Bloomington, Indiana taking the title for America's best weather?" ROOTING THROUGH GASLAMP TRASHCANS FOR EMPTIES AT DAWN - …