http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/27/23583/ You've seen the billboards along the highway. You've attended the watch parties. You've seen the banners asking you to vote, and by thunder, you've voted. Last night, your efforts were rewarded yet again, as American Idol contestant Jessica Sanchese …

TO: ALL EMPLOYEES http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/26/23529/ RE: CHANGE FOR THE FUTURE http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/26/23530/ DATE: APRIL 24, 2012 We have great expectations and ambitions of transforming the U-T into a multi-platform media organization. Many of you have seen the changes throughout the building with …

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/25/23492/ Brittany Killgore As the details surrounding the murder of 22-year-old local military ex-wife Brittany Killgore continue to emerge, San Diego's sex slaves are reportedly asking their masters for permission to speak out in protest against unsavory associations between themselves …

Political Firebrand Visits La Mesa Church, Urges Pastors to Reject Ban on Political Speech by Nonprofits "If the world hates you, know that it has hated me first." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/23/23327/ Though he left his chalkboard at home, Beck employed other visual …

SD on the QT, April 18, 2012: Walmart "Shocked" By Neighbors' Partial Protest of Building Demolition The Onion, April 20, 2012: Wal-Mart Executives Kind Of Weirded Out By Town Not Putting Up Any Resistance To Store Opening Read 'em and …

Recently Deceased Showbiz Legend to Host ABC Special Honoring His Life and Work Via Tupac-Style Hologram Denis Leary quips: "Hologram? More like Holo-grampa, am I right?" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/19/23166/ AV CONCEPTS ZOMBIE LAB, DEEP UNDERGROUND, SAN DIEGO - It didn't take long …

Evil Corporation "Deeply Disappointed" by Tepid Response to Its Destruction of Abandoned Famers Market Building on Imperial Concerned Media Outlets Ask: Who Will Occupy Walmart? Walmart spokesman: "It was bad enough when we discovered the building was derelict and not …

Following Successful Quake Table Test, UCSD Researchers Propose Similar Experiment at San Onofre Nuclear Generating Station Project Director: "It's time for scientists to get out of the lab and do some real good." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/18/23106/ PACKING UP AND SHIPPING OUT, UCSD …

Camp Pendleton Marine Corps Dog Handler Allegedly Involved in Secret Service HO-spitality Scandal After cocaine found at hotel, investigator quips: "Apparently, a dog's ability to sniff out drugs works both ways." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/18/23105/ "Right this way, ladies."

Oceanside Police Warn of Hispanic Gang Named for Trayvon Martin Shooter and Targeting Blacks in Turf War OPD Detective Barnaby Jones: "Members can be identified by their tragedy/comedy tattoos, similar to Zimmerman's own." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/17/23056/

San Diego-Based General Atomics Puts Positive Spin on High Rate of Drone Crashes PR Director: "We prefer "Kamikaze Mode" over "Class A Mishap." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/17/23049/

Mayoral Candidate Tweaks Campaign Image to Fit New "Lone Wolf McQuade" Independent Status "Hey, Sarah Palin — THIS is what 'going rogue' looks like." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/17/23038/

Midway Museum Successfully Completes Fundraising for Half of Permanent "Unconditional Surrender" Statue. Museum director: "Well, we've got the 'Surrender' part taken care of." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/16/22955/ Related.

Struggling Ballclub Explores Possibility of Group Ownership Moores: "With a pledge of $15,000 or more, you get free hot dogs for the 2013 season!" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/16/22951/ Related.

Charger Girl Tryouts Called "Best Sports News San Diego Has Seen All Year." Judge: "We're looking for girls with those certain somethings." http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/16/22950/ Related.

Head of National Nuke Safety Gives Generating Station All Clear to Resume Operation Pesky Reporter Suffers Cautionary Dismemberment at News Conference After Asking One Too Many Rude Questions http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/06/22345/ NRC Chair Gregory Jaczko: "Everything's fine!"

http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/05/22256/ SAN DIEGO — At the San Diego Petting Zoo, a North County brothel wherein both the rooms and the girls are decorated in wild animal themes, Secretary of the Interior Ken Salazar stroked a "cheetah," patted a "snake", and …

Last November, SD on the QT wondered how long it would be before the ersatz serial killer Jack the Stripper claimed a third victim. Now, with the discovery of a woman's clothes and belongings on a beach in OB, we …

Local Catholic University to Follow Up on Success of First-Ever Campus Drag Show with Opening of Genderbending Hotspot "Limelight was a disco in a church. Bad Habits is a disco in a convent!" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/03/22144/ MESSING ABOUT IN THE CHOIR STALLS, …

Group Rallies Against Bill Requiring Medical Consultation Prior to Rejection of Immunization "Keep government busybodies away from my daughter's antibodies!" http://sandiegoreader.com/users/photos/2012/apr/02/22073/ "If they can't trust me with this choice, how can they trust me with a child?" As the archconservative …