Anchor ads are not supported on this page.

4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs

Daddy Issues

Ocotillo Wells Teen Claims Paternity of Lakeside resident Mariah Yeater's Justin Beiber-Hoax Baby

"She's purty. And famouser than me. And now I want to tell the story of our wild night together!"

LISTENING AS THE GEARS OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION GRIND SLOWLY TO A HALT - At first glance, Gideon Blugg is not the sort of person you would expect to read about in a story that involves the words "Justin Beiber," "sex scandal," and "statutory rape-by-famewhore." But the 15-year-old Blugg tells SD on the QT that it is in fact his sperm, and not the prettyboy pop-star's, that gave rise to the 20-year-old Mariah Yeater's bouncing baby boy, despite her recent claims to have enjoyed a post-concert romp with the quasi-virginal Beiber.

"I was taking out the trash behind the Iron Door" - the back-country bar where Blugg washes dishes - "when up pulls this fancy red pick-up truck. You know, the kind with a plastic liner in the back, so the paint won't get scratched when you load it full of surplus cement blocks that you're going to use to build an addition on your outhouse. And inside the truck was this girl, all done up like she'd just been to an American Idol audition. Except her eye-stuff was all smeary. I guess she'd been crying or something."

The story went on like that for probably 15 or 20 minutes, but the upshot is that Yeater, distraught over her failed attempt to seduce Beiber after attending his concert, allegedly decided to settle for the next best teen: Blugg.

"Next thing I know, she's got 11,000 followers on The Twitter, and her picture is in all the magazines at the checkout in Albertson's, and she's even on the TV. And all the time, I'm sitting here in Ocotillo Wells while she lives the fancy life with my baby. I decided that I had to come forward, if only for the chance to get the hell out of Ocotillo Wells. I mean, if only for the sake of my little boy."

Blugg then asked how many people would read this article, and if maybe this reporter could get him an interview with "that hot Heather Ford girl from Fox 5 News" before finishing his cigarette and heading back in for the rest of his shift at the Iron Door.

Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all

Previous article

Centennial Salute to San Diego’s Military, East Village Block Party, Birding Basics Class

Events March 29-March 30, 2024
Next Article

SDSU pres gets highest pay raise in state over last 15 years

Union-Tribune still stiffing downtown San Diego landlord?

Ocotillo Wells Teen Claims Paternity of Lakeside resident Mariah Yeater's Justin Beiber-Hoax Baby

"She's purty. And famouser than me. And now I want to tell the story of our wild night together!"

LISTENING AS THE GEARS OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION GRIND SLOWLY TO A HALT - At first glance, Gideon Blugg is not the sort of person you would expect to read about in a story that involves the words "Justin Beiber," "sex scandal," and "statutory rape-by-famewhore." But the 15-year-old Blugg tells SD on the QT that it is in fact his sperm, and not the prettyboy pop-star's, that gave rise to the 20-year-old Mariah Yeater's bouncing baby boy, despite her recent claims to have enjoyed a post-concert romp with the quasi-virginal Beiber.

"I was taking out the trash behind the Iron Door" - the back-country bar where Blugg washes dishes - "when up pulls this fancy red pick-up truck. You know, the kind with a plastic liner in the back, so the paint won't get scratched when you load it full of surplus cement blocks that you're going to use to build an addition on your outhouse. And inside the truck was this girl, all done up like she'd just been to an American Idol audition. Except her eye-stuff was all smeary. I guess she'd been crying or something."

The story went on like that for probably 15 or 20 minutes, but the upshot is that Yeater, distraught over her failed attempt to seduce Beiber after attending his concert, allegedly decided to settle for the next best teen: Blugg.

"Next thing I know, she's got 11,000 followers on The Twitter, and her picture is in all the magazines at the checkout in Albertson's, and she's even on the TV. And all the time, I'm sitting here in Ocotillo Wells while she lives the fancy life with my baby. I decided that I had to come forward, if only for the chance to get the hell out of Ocotillo Wells. I mean, if only for the sake of my little boy."

Blugg then asked how many people would read this article, and if maybe this reporter could get him an interview with "that hot Heather Ford girl from Fox 5 News" before finishing his cigarette and heading back in for the rest of his shift at the Iron Door.

Sponsored
Here's something you might be interested in.
Submit a free classified
or view all
Ask a Hipster — Advice you didn't know you needed Big Screen — Movie commentary Blurt — Music's inside track Booze News — San Diego spirits Classical Music — Immortal beauty Classifieds — Free and easy Cover Stories — Front-page features Drinks All Around — Bartenders' drink recipes Excerpts — Literary and spiritual excerpts Feast! — Food & drink reviews Feature Stories — Local news & stories Fishing Report — What’s getting hooked from ship and shore From the Archives — Spotlight on the past Golden Dreams — Talk of the town The Gonzo Report — Making the musical scene, or at least reporting from it Letters — Our inbox Movies@Home — Local movie buffs share favorites Movie Reviews — Our critics' picks and pans Musician Interviews — Up close with local artists Neighborhood News from Stringers — Hyperlocal news News Ticker — News & politics Obermeyer — San Diego politics illustrated Outdoors — Weekly changes in flora and fauna Overheard in San Diego — Eavesdropping illustrated Poetry — The old and the new Reader Travel — Travel section built by travelers Reading — The hunt for intellectuals Roam-O-Rama — SoCal's best hiking/biking trails San Diego Beer — Inside San Diego suds SD on the QT — Almost factual news Sheep and Goats — Places of worship Special Issues — The best of Street Style — San Diego streets have style Surf Diego — Real stories from those braving the waves Theater — On stage in San Diego this week Tin Fork — Silver spoon alternative Under the Radar — Matt Potter's undercover work Unforgettable — Long-ago San Diego Unreal Estate — San Diego's priciest pads Your Week — Daily event picks
4S Ranch Allied Gardens Alpine Baja Balboa Park Bankers Hill Barrio Logan Bay Ho Bay Park Black Mountain Ranch Blossom Valley Bonita Bonsall Borrego Springs Boulevard Campo Cardiff-by-the-Sea Carlsbad Carmel Mountain Carmel Valley Chollas View Chula Vista City College City Heights Clairemont College Area Coronado CSU San Marcos Cuyamaca College Del Cerro Del Mar Descanso Downtown San Diego Eastlake East Village El Cajon Emerald Hills Encanto Encinitas Escondido Fallbrook Fletcher Hills Golden Hill Grant Hill Grantville Grossmont College Guatay Harbor Island Hillcrest Imperial Beach Imperial Valley Jacumba Jamacha-Lomita Jamul Julian Kearny Mesa Kensington La Jolla Lakeside La Mesa Lemon Grove Leucadia Liberty Station Lincoln Acres Lincoln Park Linda Vista Little Italy Logan Heights Mesa College Midway District MiraCosta College Miramar Miramar College Mira Mesa Mission Beach Mission Hills Mission Valley Mountain View Mount Hope Mount Laguna National City Nestor Normal Heights North Park Oak Park Ocean Beach Oceanside Old Town Otay Mesa Pacific Beach Pala Palomar College Palomar Mountain Paradise Hills Pauma Valley Pine Valley Point Loma Point Loma Nazarene Potrero Poway Rainbow Ramona Rancho Bernardo Rancho Penasquitos Rancho San Diego Rancho Santa Fe Rolando San Carlos San Marcos San Onofre Santa Ysabel Santee San Ysidro Scripps Ranch SDSU Serra Mesa Shelltown Shelter Island Sherman Heights Skyline Solana Beach Sorrento Valley Southcrest South Park Southwestern College Spring Valley Stockton Talmadge Temecula Tierrasanta Tijuana UCSD University City University Heights USD Valencia Park Valley Center Vista Warner Springs
Close

Anchor ads are not supported on this page.