"DimeStories Open Mike" -- 02/05/10 at Ruby Room

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— December 22, 2009 3:39 p.m.

Polanski Children Center -- Celebrity Idiots in the News

I'm still not quite sure why this is coming up now. Roman hops back and forth from France to Switzerland quite regularly. He has a chalet there. Couldn't the LA prosecutors have shown up almost anytime between now and 30 years ago? What's up with that? My theory is that with Michael Jackson dead and the economy really hurting the Hollywood TV helicopter industry, that they needed a really good high profile trial, so the judges and prosecutors in Hollywood, got together over Trader Joe's blintzes and Starbucks Cafe Freddos and decided that they had to have something going on, and since John Phillips was dead, they couldn't go after him. While they sat there contemplating the whole the dilemma, one of them pulled out his Swiss Army knife to cut that last tofutti filled blintz in two, and probably Judge Ito, or someone else said, "Hey! I have an idea!" And now here we are with a big new high profile pedophile case on our hands. TV news stations are reserving the helicopters as we speak. That said, I hope they use the army knife's tiny toothpick and the corkscrew on him. I hope they make Roman realize that he should have stuck around for that 48 days he had left to serve and maybe now he won't have find out what a dirty cell next door to Manson is like. Steve Lopez of the LA Times had a great piece in yesterday's paper detailing the court records of the girl's testimony. Hideous, what Roman did to her--oral, ANAL, and just plain ordinary sex on a 13-year-old?? (Sorry, Josh, I'm not as polite as you with the euphemisms). I'm glad they finally got him, I'm sorry he's had a rough life, but that never excuses someone doing something hideous to someone else, in fact it should make him think twice. I'm sure it was the girl's own Auschwitz. If I had not had my Swiss Army knife taken away at airport security, I would take the miniature spoon and carve out the itsy bitsy raisin of a heart that Roman has.
— October 1, 2009 noon

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