Jehovah's Witnesses Bancroft Congregation

I was raised as a JW until I was about 10 years old. My faith was strong, but I must admit that the members were mean to anyone who wasnt part of the congregation. I also felt very segregated, and felt I couldnt be friends with children who were not JW. However, as an adult I wonder if maybe that was my perception as a child and if the reality was somewhat different. My mother became very ill when I was 10, and we were unable to continue going to the meetings. Because of this were were looked down upon, and no longer felt welcome. My mother later passed away, and I was left without any religion. I converted to Catholicisim, where I was welcome regardless of my weekly attendence, and regardless of my mistakes. However, I never continued that religion either. In the back of my mind, I felt that the WatchTower organization was more structured and did things according to the bible. I simply disliked the people in the congregation, and I remained resentful of the way they treated my mother. This behavior was backed up by the many people who have experienced the same from members who turn their backs on "brothers/sisters" when they are faced with life difficulties, and are unable to give 100% to the religion. That, I didnt like. Im 29 years old now. I am really not a part of any religion, but I still find myself praying to Jehova. I'm not sure if its force of habit, from the 10 years of my childhood being raised in the religion, but His name is who I envoke during prayer. Last December to gentlemen came to my door preeching JW values. Though I normally avoid JW who come knocking, I entertained them with a little conversation that day. When they left I was left feeling warm and NOT PRESSURED to do anythign I didnt want. They simply left me with some WatchTower Magazines, and not once were they pushing me to do anything I didnt want to do. Weeks went by, and I would find the occational Watch Tower on my doorstep left by the two gentlemen who came and missed me. This was on 3 different occations. Its April now, and I've moved. When I moved I felt "Wow, if they come they wont find me now" Part of me felt bad that I had lost contact with them, and then yesterday they called me on the phone. I dont know how they got my number, I suppose they got it online somehow... I dont really mind. They told me if I wished to continue receiving the Magazines they were leaving. I kindly told him that "At this time, I felt I couldnt commit to anything, but I appreciated them looking after me"... without any pressure, he told me I had his phone number and to call him if I changed my mind. Part of me wants to reach out and participate, but I cant comit to something I am not sure I can follow thru with. I'm not sure if I'm a true believer or what.... and I'm not sure they welcome half-assed members.
— May 3, 2011 8:35 a.m.

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