Album: Haunt This Town (2008) Artist: Arm the Angels Label: self-released Where available/price: CDBaby.com for $12. iTunes, Rhapsody, Amazon, MP3.com, and Napster for 99 cents per song. Songs: 1) Last Goodbye 2) Haunt This Town …
June 11, 2008
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Stories by Ollie
Arm the Angels
Dance, Monkey Boy, Dance!
Kim Cattrall is a vampire. By night, Kim Cattrall feeds on Hooters girls innocently making out with each other in the parking lot. I haven’t looked up her Wikipedia entry to verify this fact, but …
June 11, 2008
Listen to Ruthey
Name: Ruthey Travis Age: 58 Lives In: Rancho Bernardo Surfing: Black’s Beach Pre-Surf Music: Sam Cooke Post-Surf Food: Scrambled eggs “I should have known better. It was a foolish mistake. I was just paddling out, …
June 4, 2008
Comfortable Creeps
Album: Paycheck to Paycheck (2007) Artist: Comfortable Creeps Label: FTB Recordings Where available/price: All Music Trader record shops for $8. Online at accesshiphop.com for $7 or iTunes for 99 cents a song. Songs: 1) Kerri’s …
June 4, 2008
Chimp People
Some people look like chimpanzees, and that’s the truth of it. I’m not being mean or hurtful. You’ve seen that person who looks like a chimpanzee. And you’ve caught yourself thinking of that person in …
June 4, 2008
Fights Are a Part of It
Name: Jason Sporer Age: 24 Lives: P.B. Surfing: O.B. Pre-Surf Music: Tool Post-Surf Food: Smoothie “Fights are definitely part of the surf culture. I’ve never been directly involved, but new surfers should stay out of …
May 28, 2008
12 Cent Takes It One Step Further
Album: For the Win (2007) Artist: 12 Cent Label: Olde Tyme Productions Where available/price: Interpunk.com for $8. Music Trader in Pacific Beach for $8. Songs: 1) FTW! 2) 1231 3) Meat Rent 4) Vital Organ …
May 28, 2008
A Letter to My Neighbors
Dear Poor People Who Live Next Door to Me, I am dreadfully sorry to bother you, but could you be a little quieter, please. Propping up on your front porch 19 screaming babies, each with …
May 28, 2008
Seinfeld Meets Garfield
Conversation between Garfield and Seinfeld Seinfeld: Hey there, Garfield. Looks like you’re having a tough weekend. Didn’t know you liked the sauce so much. Garfield: You couldn’t put that together? I love lasagna, kicking a …
May 21, 2008
Need Surf Police
Name: Blair Dribben Age: 26 Lives In: Pacific Beach Pre-Surf Music: Anything Post-Surf Food: Pizza Blair says, “Surfing has been with me my whole life; it controls where I live. I moved here from Hawaii …
May 21, 2008
Young Mass Remembers
Album: Young Mass (2008) Artist: Young Mass Label: self-released Where available/price: Access Music in Pacific Beach for $8.95. Online at CDBaby for $7.99, Amazon for $8.99, and iTunes for $9.99 Songs: 1) Intro — Message …
May 21, 2008
Who Would Argue Against Love?
Album: Love Love Love (2007) Artist: Steven Ybarra Label: self-released Where available/price: iTunes for $9. Songs: 1) Love Love Love 2) All I Am 3) The Beauty of Your Love 4) Please Please 5) The …
May 14, 2008
Sheena Is a Waverider
Name: Sheena Casamassima Age: 20 Lives In: Mira Mesa Surfing: Law Street, Pacific Beach Pre-Surf Music: Jack Johnson Post-Surf Food: Any fast food “It was a gnarly day for me,” Sheena says of the most …
May 14, 2008
The Drunken Clowns of Vegas
If you’re a complete debauchery amateur, Vegas is racy. Other than that it’s about as provocative as birthday cake. Considering my 20s, gambling, booze, drugs, and women are a Monday-morning stretch and yawn. The one …
May 14, 2008
Two Songs
Single: Don’t Wake the Sun (2008) Artist: Writer Label: self-released Where available/price: At live shows, Lou’s Records (Encinitas), Off the Record (North Park), M Theory (Mission Hills), and Spin Records (Carlsbad) for $5. Online at …
May 7, 2008
The Underpants Tablecloth-Caped Avenger
Hold on to your butts, kids! Here comes another installment of...The Underpants Tablecloth-Caped Avenger! Disguised as my nebbish alter ego, Johan Awesome, I patrolled an enclave of Kensington. Ol’ Black Betty, the Six-Speed Bicycle of …
May 7, 2008
Second Skin
Name: Frank Age: 35 Lives In: Mission Beach Surfing: Mission Beach Pre-Surf Music: Band of Horses Post-Surf Food: Anything healthy Frank had a nasty collision one evening at La Jolla Shores. “As I was starting …
May 7, 2008
An Open Letter to American Babies
An Open Letter to All American Babies:You were born in the United States. You are a human being, so therefore you have the right to walk around; you have the right to move around without …
April 30, 2008
Not Forgotten
Album: Supreme Macaroni Co. Ltd. (2008) Artist: Aaron Bowen Label: self-released Where available/price: iTunes, Rhapsody, Napster, or aaronbowenmusic.com for $9.99. Songs: 1) When the Fall of Rome 2) Song #2 3) Strawberry Wine 4) Jeanne …
April 30, 2008
Odd Tan Lines
Name: A.J. Bhowmik Age: 28 Lives In: Pacific Beach Surfing: O.B. Pier Pre-Surf Pump Up Music: Jazz Favorite Post Surf Food: Burritos A.J. Bhowmik and his friends take credit for inventing “Surf Wars,” which began …
April 30, 2008
Smooth Devo
Album: Hoping It Stays Just This Broken (2007) Artist: Immovable Objects Label: self-released Where available/price: M-Theory Records in Mission Hills for $10.99. Online at Amazon, iTunes, CDBaby, Digstation, Rhapsody, Napster, Ruckus, BuyMusic, Inprodicon, MusicIsHere, PayPlay, …
April 23, 2008
Bumped, Bitten, and Sliced
Name: Eric Ward Age: 27 Surfing: Tourmaline Lives In: Lakeside Pre-Surf Music: The Jackson 5 Post-Surf Food: Pancakes and beer “I always used to think surfing looked really stupid,” says Eric. “I made fun of …
April 23, 2008
Where the Hell's My Hot Sauce?
The question was, Where the hell is my hot sauce? As with so many little mysteries in my life, the answer is, I’m retarded. Situated neatly on my coffee table was a tray of grocery-store …
April 23, 2008
Hair Lip
— May 1, 2000 Not only was I late for work, but my car’s booster engine fouled up. It didn’t explode or anything, it streamed a thin trail of smoke and rattled. So the automatic …
April 16, 2008
Mother Mae I
Nu metal soothes the savage teenage ego. Perfected by the awful Linkin Park, nu metal themes revolve around awkwardness and insecurity, which manifest themselves in lyrics as martyrdom, separation from society, loyalty to others labeled …
April 16, 2008
A Natural Extension of Skating
“I was surfing north of Scripps Pier, and I saw two little girls pretty far out,” says Jeff, a San Diego native. “They were probably seven or eight. I realized that they had been sucked …
April 16, 2008
Bravo, Oaks!
Picking through Oaks’ photos on the Web, I don’t see any molester mustaches, long hair, or dirty denim vests over leather jackets. But those things wouldn’t be out of place. Despite their earthy name and …
April 9, 2008
Don't Get Sucked Under
“I’ve been around boards my entire life. Surfboards, skateboards, snowboards...it’s what I really love,” says California newcomer Adam as he takes a break from a slow day surfing in Mission Beach. “I’ve been surfing for …
April 9, 2008
Quick, Who's My Favorite Ninja Turtle?
Bleakness rent my spirit. For days I pinched the bridge of my nose and squinted. I pushed at the inside corner of my eyes until they bulged and I was nearly blind. Indecision can be …
April 9, 2008
The Statistics Issue
Crowded on the shelf and partially hidden by other books, the bright yellow spine of the stupidest book ever glared out to me, The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Professional Wrestling. I pushed the Grishams and …
April 2, 2008
Secret Samurai
Album: Gun Sho Gun (2008) Artist: Secret Samurai Label: self-released Where available/price: CDBaby.com for $12.97 and Double Crown Records (dblcrown.com) for $14.75 Songs: 1) Don’t Fear the Reverb 2) Shoegazer 3) Bereft of Enemies 4) …
April 2, 2008
Sick Sharks
Name: James Teak Surfing: Crystal Pier Age: 22 Occupation: Machinist Lives In: Point Loma Pre-Surf Music: Pennywise Post-Surf Food: Taco Surf or Jamba Juice “I started surfing when I was in third grade. My dad …
April 2, 2008
Almost a Boy Scout
For a long time, the only development project in my neighborhood belonged to a swarm of wasps building a papery hive in the corner of an abandoned storefront. They were the only things fighting entropy …
March 26, 2008
Night Rider
Name: Jeff Marr Occupation: Lab technician Age: 38 Lives in: Ocean Beach Night-surfing: Dog Beach Pre-surf music: Marvin Gaye Post-surf food: Fish tacos “It’s so peaceful and beautiful at night, I can literally walk out …
March 26, 2008
Modern Day Moonshine
Album: Same Old Fight (2007) Artist: Modern Day Moonshine Label: self-released Where available/price: At live shows for $8, or order it online from myspace.com/moderndaymoonshine for $8. Songs: 1) Intro 2) Such a Shame 3) Unite …
March 26, 2008
America's Sweatiest Fatties
This is true. I know my reputation for oddball fiction and addled fantasy damages my credibility, but I swear, this is true. A spider and I encountered each other in an unpleasant way. Last week, …
March 19, 2008
How Quickly It Can Be Taken Away
Name: Aaron Age: 21 Surfing: P.B. Drive Post-Surf Food: Organic “My grandfather was a pro in the ’60s and ’70s. He really inspired me to start competing when I was 14. I’d been surfing since …
March 19, 2008
Maybe SD's Best
Album: Say What You Wanted to Say (2007) Artist: The Frantic Romantic Label: Self-released Where available/price: Music Trader in Pacific Beach or at live shows for $5. Online at franticromanticband.com and myspace.com/thefranticromantic for $7 ($5 …
March 19, 2008
More Plastic Than Metal
Album: Here’s to Curiosity (2007) Artist: Invictus Label: Self-released Where available/price: iTunes for $5 and interpunk.com for $6. Songs: 1) Lost in Sounds 2) It’s a Leopluradon 3) The Ground Is Not Your Friend 4) …
March 12, 2008
Scram!
Name: Desiree Age: 19 Lives in: Mira Mesa Surfing: Torrey Pines Occupation: Graphic designer Pre-surf music: the Pixies Post-surf food: Slurpees “The first time I ever surfed was in 2005,” says Desiree, a 19-year-old Texas …
March 12, 2008
Queen of the Southern Mines
My dad still lives in our hometown of Sonora. Folks call the area different things, depending on what they want to sell you. It’s “God’s Country” if the license-plate frames on the new cars at …
March 12, 2008
Approachable Indie
Album: Wasn’t Tomorrow Horrible (2007) Artist: Roxy Jones Label: H.O.I. Where available/price: Off the Record in North Park, M-Theory in Mission Hills, or Thirsty Moon in Hillcrest for $7. Songs: 1) Hola Papi! 2) GM …
March 5, 2008
Stand-Up Guy
Name: Mark Lives in: Ocean Beach Surfing: Ocean Beach Age: 50 After-Surf Food: Bean and cheese burrito Favorite Surf Spot: Mexico “I started surfing when I heard the message from the Beach Boys when I …
March 5, 2008
How the Nightly News Should Be
How the Nightly News Should Be: Today, billions of people survived. Of our species, less than one percent was killed, raped, or burglarized. So, don’t freak out and worry about a bunch of terrifying stuff …
March 5, 2008
Gleaming Rehash
Album: Liberation of Dissonance (2007) Artist: Canobliss Label: self-released Where available/price: canobliss.com, CDBaby.com for $8; iTunes and Napster.com for $9.90 Songs: 1) Riot 2) Insurrection 3) Sinister Minister 4) Liberation of Dissonance 5) Hello 6) …
February 27, 2008
Team Taco Bell
Name: Zane Johnston Surfing: Crystal Pier, Pacific Beach Lives: 32nd St. Naval Base Pre-Surf Music: Country Post-Surf Food: Taco Bell “Back in Texas there aren’t a whole lot of places to surf where you’ll catch …
February 27, 2008
Gangland Ollie
I live above a liquor store in City Heights. The store’s sign stands out in the neighborhood, as it’s the only one in English. Across the street is a Vietnamese donut shop and a tortilleria. …
February 27, 2008
The Ass Beating List
There’s that old sentiment that the world would be monumentally better off if a list of people received a hefty ass beating. You know what I mean. Everyone has their own list. Your list might …
February 20, 2008
How We've Started to Suck
In Esztergom, Hungary, I saw for the first time in my life a dioramic representation of how human beings have managed to overthrow nature and evolution and how we’ve started to suck. Inside Esztergom Castle …
February 13, 2008
Open Letter
Album: The Neighbors Are Listening (2007) Artist: Alex Esther Label: self-released Where available/price: iTunes for $9.99 and CDBaby for $10. Songs: 1) Grey 2) State I’m In 3) Love Me Like You Do 4) Far …
February 13, 2008